Living Yellow

My Valentine

2012-02-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

I've been trying and failing all week to think of something to express how much I love this guy:

Some things are too good for words.

To Play, to Say, O.K.

2012-01-02T15:09:00.000-08:00

To sleep.
To dream.
To play.
To say,
O.K.

This is what I want to do for now.
Not so much a resolution.
Radical self-revolution?
Improve my physical and mental constitution?
Detox of mental pollution?

Cuddles and hot cocoa sound like the best resolution right now.

For the past several years, I've looked back and done "reverse resolutions," where I review my accomplishments for the year and write them as if they were what I planned to do. It can feel great. This year, I feel like . . . 'well, I made it through.' I can't seem to pinpoint accomplishments. Not that they didn't happen, it's just that is not the way my memory is processing or wants to process right now. I can say that I feel love, and loved. This is good.

In my youth (ha! I'm still in my youth!!!) I loved goal setting. New Year's was one of my favorite times, and I was driven and pragmatic in my goal setting. I currently feel fragmented and futile in any kind of planning.

It's this season of life. Where priority number one SHOULD be cuddles, when I notice that the Buddah Belly on my 3.5 yr. old is almost entirely gone and my five year old vacillates between not wanting any cuddles and waking me up mid-sleep throwing a fit because he didn't get any good-night cuddles.

Will life ever slow down? As we pursue financial security are we pursuing our dreams or our happiness? No, not really. But we do pursue our happiness and dreams as we decide to let the dishes pile up and instead sit down for a family game or start a pillow fight. Or when we go to sleep without hanging up the clean clothes, instead allowing them to pile and mix with the slightly worn clothes. A wrinkle vs. a snore. Who can judge the value?

Am I happy? Is it lack of sleep, lack of medication, or trepidation about what I know 2012 has in store that is holding me back from jubilant reverse resolutions and clearly defined goals? As I find personal fulfillment, I find familial guilt. Should the word of the year be balance?

If I can look at the mess and say O.K., or say O.K. when I resign myself to actually wash the dishes, or O.K. to denying one responsibility to fulfill another, to say O.K. to staying home from a meeting to simply be there with my children, to say O.K. to the things and people I will have to say goodbye to this year, to say O.K. to letting myself feel guilt-free self-fulfillment. Say O.K. to the fact that I cannot do it all, all the time, and be all that I want to be. There is a time. And a season. There are songs that will be sung without my voice in the choir. Art will be made, actions planned, community built, and peanut butter and jam sandwiches constructed without me. I will do some things. I will let go of what I don't do. I will prioritize happiness.

I can also say O.K. to making my posts consistently WAY longer than I intend. Few people will read more than a few words. Oh well. :)

Occupying

2011-10-14T23:56:00.001-07:00

Please try to understand. It's not about anti-government, anti-corporation, or even anti-rich/anti-money. It's about anti-government-for-the-corporate-dollar (where money is considered speech, and corps. are considered people without accountability) instead of for the *people*; anti-corporations-with-astronomic-inequality between CEOs, those they still employ (working more than 40/hrs a week because they are carrying double loads just to stay in the running to keep their jobs), huge profits paired with huge bailouts, bonuses, and lay-offs; and anti-rich-without-working-for-it or having compassion for those who desperately want to work. There is a message, though the causes and solutions are too complex to turn into a simple slogan. If you pass them off as extremist, leftists, anarchists or communists you are not listening and are completely missing the point.

What My Morning was Like (Nothing special or unusual)

2011-01-28T11:53:00.000-08:00

Today for my drawing class, we were to list the mundane details of our day. Not directly related to drawing, but spilling out boring lists is SO much easier for me than drawing, so I actually did this homework:

Wake up to crying child crying "Mom, I'm wet." Proud of him for wanting to take care of it right away, not happy that my opportunity to sleep in on a non-school day is gone.
Take two year old back to bed, where he rubs my back softly but kicks at the same time, no more sleep will happen.
Wake up to four year old asking "Mom, can I play." So much easier. The yes sends an excited two year old out of my bed. Perhaps they will entertain themselves for long enough...
Wake up to two year old crying "Mom, I'm poopy!" Try to convince husband that he has to get up anyway, but without conviction as I know he was up late doing homework and the boy INSISTS that I'm the one to change him. Glad he was still in a diaper and not in underpants for the day yet.
Help excited child put on Star Wars unders.
Get quick shower interrupted with "Mom, brother hit me!" Ignored as shower time is ME time.
Get dressed and change the boy's poopy Star Wars underpants. Regret allowing the boy to eat so many oranges last night.
Realize I'm hungry and toast muffins for myself and boys (with peanut butter and jam at their request).
Inform the boys about their respective play dates today.
Send the following email:
"J, you still have one hour before it's time to go to N's house."
"Does that mean 10 minutes?"
"No, that's 60 minutes."
"16?"
"No, 60. That's 6 tens. You still have plenty of time to get dressed for the day, finish your game, AND clean up your game."

*fast forward five minutes*

J stands at Mommy's side, wearing his zipped up jacket.
"So can I go to N's now?"
"No, son, you still have about 50 minutes."
"But Moooooom, I finished my game."

Attempt to catch up on email but instead help boys get dressed, cleaned, and ready.
Have talk with four year old about treating friends nice before I watch him run full speed to N's house.
Begin washing dishes as I wait for the 2 year old neighbor to come over for his first play date with mine.
Check email to see if there's any reason they're late.
Wash more dishes, then let the guests in.
Attempt to make the 2 year olds comfortable with each other while I give visiting mom a break from holding her large 4 month old.
Hear visiting mother talk about her sibling 10 years older than her - and feel old for a moment when I discover this visitor is more than 10 years younger than I am.
Watch her child recognize letters and spell words with my fridge magnets and wonder if I should be worried that my son can't even get his colors right yet, let alone know any letters. At least he's started singing his ABC's.
Drink delicious blueberry pomegranate juice while peeling oranges for the kids. Think about how I will likely regret giving my son more oranges later.
Send away visitors.
Clean up potty accident, and help boy wash his hands after sitting on the toilet.
Help son clean up the Thomas train toys and allow him to watch Wonder Pets.
Hear excited squeel of "Daddy!!!" as Daddy pops in for lunch before heading off to work.
Clean up potty accident, and help boy wash his hands after sitting on the toilet. Again.
Read email from N's mom about how the boys are not getting along well and both insisting being best or first or in charge, etc.
Wash more dishes and wish I had a dishwasher, especially the day after hosting all the kids from the babysitting co-op.
Enjoy hearing great giggles and Daddy and son get a few moments of play time.
Think about how I really need to get good dish-washing gloves or my hands are going to go on strike and refuse to wash any more dishes.
Welcome big brother home and have a discussion with him about how to treat our friends. Help him get some paper to draw "I'm sorry" notes.
Happily help son sound out how to spell "I'm sorry," and help him remember what a Y looks like.
Begin typing out list of what I've done today, and think about how I haven't been silly enough. Time to put the list aside and have silly time with boys. (Will catch up on drawing class homework later...when have I thought that before?)

2010 Reverse Resolutions

2011-01-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

I can't say whether I've been doing this for three or four years now, but I gotta say it's very fulfilling. Reverse resolutions are satisfying. Instead of making a list of things I'd hope to do in 2011 (and will most likely fail due to my lack of dedicated initiative without competition or incentive), I look back and list things from the previous year that I DID accomplish. It's amazing what looking at a list (large or small) the is COMPLETE can do for someone like me who is a great project starter, but now so much a project finisher. So without further ado, here are my 2010 reverse resolutions:

In 2010 I will:
Student teach middle and high school choirs, and make a big impact on my high school girl's choir.
Be the first of my siblings to earn a MASTER'S DEGREE!
Survive the busiest year of our little families' life.
Get a fulfilling job teaching music.
Face my demons and accept that I have chronic depression, and begin the process of getting out of it.
Organize a babysitting co-op so I actually have time for nights out with my husband.

Ah. Yes, that was something! Now to go meditate on what I actually should work on this year...

It's a 'Sidaster!!!'

2010-09-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

Our house has exploded!

Overall, it's actually a very good thing, because it means we're going through and sorting, organizing, and generally taking care of what we have. But at the moment it's very overwhelming.

Most of what you can see in the picture is clothes for the boys that we brought back from my parents' place on Monday. We managed to go through many boxes of old hand-me-down clothes and pare down what was being kept. So now there are ~15 less boxes of clothes being stored there! I won't bother taking pictures of other rooms, because they're messy, too, but not in a good way. Although none of them are as bad as the living room.

It's a wonderful thing that we get to spend as much time with my parents and little siblings as we do, but it sometimes comes at a cost of some housework getting ignored. (Of course that's our fault - not theirs!) It doesn't help that sometimes I just get worn out too fast. Allergies are the main culprit this week. I think that there's just way more mold and mildew problems down here. I don't know if it's just these buildings with their bad windows or the city in general. I seem to be fighting allergies almost year round here, and it seems to be different than the ones I get up in the Portland area. :( But I plan to do better, at least with the housework.

The boys are both in morning pre-school now, which they both love! Although Peter has had a few rough mornings this week where he just really doesn't want either Amber or I to leave. It's a little more okay when Amber drives off simply because I'm still there, but then I take them inside and he falls apart when I tell them goodbye and am going. The teacher says that it's usually best to just go and let them get it over with. The constant hovering trying to wait out their bad times just prolongs the pain for them. Like they just keep thinking that you're about to go, I guess. So I've been just heading out after seeing them get started playing, but it's not easy. Today Peter was first patting the ground next to him asking me to sit down and play, and then when that didn't work he got up and came running to get to me. The teacher went and got him and took him to go play, but he wasn't happy about it. I could still hear his crying from outside as I walked back to the apartment.

Resolution: Get Happy

2010-07-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Naturally, I'm an optimistic champion idealist yellow sort of person. That's why this blog has the name it does. When I think of yellow, I think of fun happy sunshine. I think of things like my mom's zippy dream car. I have also always been a dreamer. I live in the land of big What-ifs. And not the anxious kind of What-ifs, but the "What if there were world peace" kind of What-ifs.

When I was in fifth grade, I had an entire year of low-self esteem to the point of hiding and crying every recess. Until, one day, I said "What if I liked myself. What if I didn't depend on others to provide my happiness." It made a world of difference. A difference that lasted until my senior year of high school, when I was at what appeared to be the top of my game: great grades in advanced classes, president of several clubs including youth mayor of my city, winning awards for my compositions and piano playing, lead in the musical, on track to get great scholarships. But reality was I was battling depression and felt I had no one to talk to about it. On and off again through college, I managed it behaviorally with exercise, diet, relaxation and stress management. I constantly battled the bouts of distress amidst the great adventures and very fun time I had in college and beyond. I did a great job keeping it together, and life really fell into place. I met my dream man, was living my dream life, and even had the worlds greatest children. Through all this, something was nagging and I was ignoring.

A month ago, I went to the health clinic to get some allergy relief. The intake nurse (a beautiful Navajo woman who taught me to say Yá'át'ééh and Hágoónee') told me they were doing a survey and asked if I smoked. Easy: no. Then she asked if I was depressed. I laughed and said, Oh, probably. With a raised an eyebrow she gave me a motherly scolding glance and handed me a survey to fill out while I waited to see the Doctor. The survey included run-of-the mill depression symptoms and asked you to rank how much they've affected you in the past two weeks. I threw circles around numbers here and there, but was actually shocked when I read the box explaining how to interpret my tally. One level, not depressed. The next, maybe and you could consider some behavioral changes. Up a notch, depressed, and you should probably seek help. Then there was my score: severe. The number seemed to shout at me like a New Jersey know-it-all. "You see! Stop ignoring it. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT ALREADY."

My thoughts became consumed with reviewing my past actions. It became a little scary when I couldn't pinpoint how far back the depression really went. Years, anyway. Sure, my life has been stressful, especially this year - but there has been something extra making things difficult.

So, I've begun therapy and am trying all sorts of ways to get this under control. I want to be the happy person that I know I really am. I want to feel like a good wife and mother. I want to be a great teacher. None of this will happen if I don't confront this depression and do something about it.

Like usual for me, things are falling into place, in a good way. Only this time I'm not trying to shove the depression into the back of my mind. I'm calling it out for what it is, and working with it. Instead of hiding out and crying I'm considering the What-ifs. What if I felt like getting up in the morning? What if I actually did those "good wife" and "good mother" things I imagine but just can't get the umph to do anything about? What if I allow myself to actually enjoy activities? What if I exercised, and worked toward getting back a body I felt happy with? What if I actually allowed myself to make friends instead of making excuses as to why I'm too stressed and busy to do anything? What if I become the person I know I am, and like myself?

The practical optimist in me says I WILL do this, I CAN do this, but it won't be easy, it will take time, and it will take effort. I have an action plan. I am making achievable goals. I'm excited for the possibilities. So to those of you who have known me for a long time, you'll be able to say "welcome back" when you meet me again. For those of you who have met me only recently, be warned that the real Amber is about to Stand Up.

Five AMAZING Years

2010-05-13T00:01:00.001-07:00

Ceremony 2
Originally uploaded by amberlynnlane.

I can't count the moments I stop myself in utter awe when I think of how lucky I am to have found you. Five years ago we made our promises to each other legally binding, and I still can't believe I get to keep you!

Erik, I can't begin to express how much I love you. Thank you for being my perfect partner. Happy fifth anniversary, my love.

2009 Reverse Resolutions

2010-01-01T09:07:00.001-08:00

I haven't posted in a long time. It's like I've been busy or something! My friend Jamie reminded me of this and I thought it would be nice to do again . . .

In 2009 I will:

Get accepted to and begin grad school.
Move out of my in-laws house.
Miss my in-laws very much (but still be okay on our own).
Conduct a real choir, complete with orchestra.
Improve my conducting and teaching skills.
Survive and support my family on a very limited budget.
Get back in touch with some dear long-lost friends.
Survive my worst cold ever.
Get back into SLR photography, improve my photography skills, and photograph a wedding.
Thoroughly enjoy my children.
Learn to appreciate my wonderful husband even more.

It DOES feel great to start the new year with a totally checked off list!

Me vs. Me and Them

2009-10-31T15:41:00.000-07:00

After my senior year of college, I was sent to a Women's Leadership Development conference. A few representatives from each college and university were there, along with invited facilitators, mentors, and speakers. Nobody there was "average." Each person there had magnificent capability for leadership that was being applied currently, or showed bursting potential. Among this crowd, I received a compliment that I reflect on frequently. As we were walking the conference coordinator was walking along side me and told me, "The mentors have been talking about you, and I have to agree with them. You are probably the most self-aware youth I've ever met. How do you do it?"

My off-the-cuff answer was, "Thank you. It's probably because I take time to think about it. I reflect on the person I am and the person I want to be." At the time, I went to church, weekly. I practiced Yoga daily. I took time for prayer (what I defined as speaking the desires of the soul) and meditation (silent listening).

I just finished reading "The Musician's Soul" by James Jordan, an assigned reading for one of my classes. At that time in my life, while reading about taking time for prayer and meditation I would have said, "Duh! Of course! Quiet reflection time is invaluable."

However, when I read things like that now I guffah and think about the author, "you must not have young children!" Even if I were still seeking religious spiritual answers, I would likely be spending my time at church shushing the children instead of pondering the state of my soul. Also, I would love to continue Yoga practice, especially in a well designed studio that gave individualized progressive instruction rather than the fluffy fad Yoga classes I encounter when I have tried drop ins.

I'm thankful I took the time to work on those aspects of myself when I could. Saying I don't have time now sounds like a cop-out. So, I need to make the case for why it's not. I COULD make the time to meditate, study yoga, and have quiet self reflective time. I COULD take the time to go get a church conducting job so I could improve my conducting skills the way I have seen other classmates improve through this extra experience. I COULD, but it would take sacrifices in other areas of my life. It is about priorities.

I am currently constantly battling to find healthy balance in the joy I find in improving myself, and learning, and performing, and studying - and the guilt I feel in being away from the house so much, and closing the door to my children so I can do the reading I need to do. Both are important... my self development, and mothering. I will be a better mother if I feel fulfilled. I can give my children better opportunities if they have a good example. But my own fulfillment is of no use if I'm never around the children for them to reap any benefits.

I've come to the conclusion that parenting is the most difficult job. Now, rather than prioritizing different aspects of my OWN life, I must balance this with care for my children. One of the hardest parts is knowing that mistakes are inevitable... and consequences can be long-lasting.

I think the same is true of teaching, which hopefully my future career.

I would love advice for those who have been able to find the balance with positive self-development, and positive care, teaching, and influence on the development of others. Do you find compatibility, or is there always an imbalance... guilt for too much self-fulfillment, or emptiness in too much self-sacrifice?

Back to the Books

2009-07-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

Hello from Oregon State University! The campus and our new diggs are lovely, despite the occasional manure smell from the pasture across the street. We're feeling a little more moved in every day. Clothes are slowly finding their way to new homes (especially when there is a desperate need to discover a pair of shorts in this wickedly hot weather), dishes are being discovered (Erik just found the colander in the boys' room), and study spaces are coming into being.

The adjustment to being a student again has been both difficult and rewarding. Difficult for many reasons. The boys have not adjusted well to the idea of Mom being in view, and yet unable to easily focus on them. As someone who has formerly depended on quiet solitary space for study, transitioning to attempting to focus on academic literature while boys are jumping on you and screaming for attention has not been easy. As an non-TA, non-"research" grad student... an office was not in the offering. Also, the music building is on the other side of campus, and without a bike, with children at home, and walking in the heat - the idea of walking there just to study is simply out of the question. At the same time, the class-work itself was much more than I had anticipated (although, from a learning perspective, that's a great thing). On the first day of class, I was handed music and told to be ready for rehearsal that evening. Other students in the class knew what to expect, and received their music earlier in the summer. I had registered late, as I didn't anticipate having housing here in Corvallis in time to take the class. Until this evening, I've felt like I was cramming hard for a final every day. In a way, I was. However, so far, the work has really paid off. I'm learning and improving much, which is the goal! (Not to mention I already have the opportunity to stand in front of 100+ voices, wave my arms, and have music of the masters resonate before my ears!)

We're finding solutions to the problems we've met: making office/study space in the bedroom (including the purchasing of a desk and mirrors, and a new computer as our laptop is dead) , landing the ideal job as the Community Assistant for our housing community (I get to be an RA all over again, hurray!), and juggling our time to maximize efficient study/family time.

My favorite solution we've found is having picnic dinners on days I have class and rehearsals. This allows me quiet study time after class, I don't have to wipe myself out walking home and back again just to grab dinner, and I get outdoor play time with my BOYS. I'm SO grateful to have such an amazing supportive husband/father-of-my-kids. He's truly lived up to every expectation of my pre-marriage rose-colored-glasses-he's-perfect days.

Erik, I love you!

As a friend commented on Facebook, if I'm looking forward to doing my homework, I'm obviously in the right place. I really am passionate about what I'm studying. I may not be as technically refined (yet!) in my conducting as the others, nor have the vocal training that they do (but I am learning!), but I'm having a great adventure and look forward to the leader/conductor I'm becoming. Future choir classroom.... wa'chout!

Moving

2009-07-02T23:13:00.000-07:00

Moving was so easy when I was single (remaining petless helped). I could go anywhere, live with anyone, and not worry too much if it was or wasn't going to work out 'cause moving again would be such an easy option. When I moved to Portland from New Jersey, I just looked at a map online of where my job would be, hopped on Craigslist, and found the nearest place within my price range.

Trying to find a place in a new town with an entire family is a whole different game. Although we applied to get into the student family housing as soon as it was possible for us to apply, we were told about a month or two ago that the earliest we could expect to get a spot would be in January or so.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I opened up an email that said there was a spot opening up July 10th, and we were at the top of the list. The timing could not be more perfect!

Now, I can take that summer class at OSU rather than here at PSU... which may mean I don't have to take it again next summer (which was the advisor's original request). The dates of classes will be the same (July 20th-August 15) but I won't have to commute and I'll only be IN classes two days a week instead of four. Now, I won't have to deal with moving during the same time as Joshua and Chelsea's wedding - which will make the nuptials all the more enjoyable.

Also, Erik doesn't have to stress about the necessity of a job now. (He's still keeping eyes and ears open for a good opportunity that can work around my school schedule, though.) Rent will be much less than elsewhere, and commuting costs will be less - plus we won't have to move again after we get there.

We're so excited to get to live in a community of other student families. That should make the transition so much easier, for Jasper especially.

At this point, I can only see one down side to the whole thing - and that's the fact that we're moving at all. I think this will be my first move ever where I'll be truly sad to leave where I am. I'm going to miss being here with my in-laws and the wonderful four little kids. The Lanes are truly an awesome family, and it's obvious to me why Erik has always wanted to live as close as possible to them. We'll only be two hours away, so visits won't be too difficult - but the thought of leaving them is already breaking my heart a little.

(My littlest sis-in-law told me tonight that I could just take their picture and write their name on the back so that when I missed them, I could look and remember who they were. So precious! I told them I could never forget... and snapped a photo of her anyway.)

Day at the Beach

2009-06-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

Public Service Announcement

2009-06-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

This is a personal/family blog - where vulnerability happens. I am nowhere near perfect, and sometimes will stoop to sharing evidence of this fact. Due to someone's desire to take anonymous pot-shots at others' shortcomings, comments will now be moderated.

Belittling others will not make you feel better about yourself, even if you do feel momentarily superior. I don't know if anything makes you more open to the realization of how IMPERFECT we are than parenthood. Hopefully, we can get by from day to day with the ability to hold on to what is good and right, and try to leave our mistakes behind us. And yes, learn from them.

So, dear Anonymous, you may attempt to post again with your name behind it and I will decide then whether or not to post it. If you choose to be mean, at least be willing to back it up with your name.

Nightmare Come True

2009-06-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

I knew there was something interesting I was forgetting to update the family on during our weekly Skype conference yesterday!

I have had several nightmares where I'm in a moving car - not in the drivers' seat - and I have some sort of trouble 'cause I have to hurry and hit the brake on the car somehow.

On Saturday, while shopping for last minute birthday party supplies, I had one of those "I'm an awful mother!" moments. (I don't doubt that there were at least two witnesses who later retold the story of the awful mother they saw at Freddy's.)

Before we even found a parking spot Jasper was already asking for a driving cart. I spotted on in the lot, and found a parking space right behind it. (You know, the monster huge ones that look like a car on the outside and have steering wheels for the kidlets. Kids love them, they are a PAIN to push around...) Unfortunately, the driving cart was buried under a set of three other carts, so I would have to dig. Since I have to dig out the cart before I can safely (well, safe is relative... this particular cart had a broken seat belt, and the seats are awful high. Peter often slides down into the footwell.) get the kids inside.

While I quickly hopped out to get the cart, Jasper asked if he could wait for me in the driver's seat (I left Peter in his car seat). I said sure. He "drives" all the time. I would just be a second. So I hop out of the car, and into the adjacent lot where the carts are parked and begin to dig out the driving cart. When I look up, I notice that Goldy Car is rolling backwards... but Jasper is still happily playing with whatever switches and gears he can find. (He must have popped it out of gear.)

"JASPER! JASPER!" I hollered, as I dropped everything and ran to the car.

This is where I got lucky. Jasper was smart enough to move IMMEDIATELY when I told him to, I had left the door open, so I didn't have to take the time to open it to get in, no cars were coming down the lane, and two guys happened to be watching and hopped to the back of the car. At the same time as I got in and stomped the brake, the two men got to the back of the car and stopped it just before it hit another parked car.

With my heart racing, the men gave me a little push so I could roll the car back into it's spot and FIRMLY YANK THE PARKING BREAK.

The neighboring parking car gaped as I asked Jasper to wait for me in the passenger seat, and I once again left the boys in the car so I could bring them their driving cart. But it really was the safest thing I could do with the children at the time. Two kids and one grown up in a parking lot is HARD work. Asha (the instructor for our birthing class) was right, more than one kid, and you're outnumbered!

Neither boy was fazed. My heart began racing all over again when we returned to the car from shopping. Never again will I forget to pull the parking/emergency break.

Strong and Courageous

2009-05-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

Cancer.

I'd have to say it's one of my biggest fears. 3/4 of my grandparents had it... not all survived it. A best friend from my childhood recently won her battle with it. Now, my aunt-in-law has joined the ranks.

She's' been amazing and inspirational throughout her struggles. Throughout the journey, she's allowed herself to be vulnerable - sharing her experiences, blessings and gripes. She invited me to come document one of her treatments, which I was excited to do... until it was time to go. For some reason, going to the treatment center scared me. Facing a fear, I guess.

Yet, she was so full of smiles. So calm. So strong. I was immediately at ease, and enjoyed the personal visit with her and her husband. "Strong and Courageous" has been the fitting theme for her journey. I'm so proud to be able to call her family.

Thank you Drenda, for being a great example of strength and courage. And, for being you.

When Affirmations Work

2009-04-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't been enjoying my singing lessons for a while. I thought perhaps it was due to my short attention span. Or guilt over not practicing quite enough. Or simply not enjoying trying to develop my lower voice. (I'm a soprano. I'm a soprano who can't hit high notes very well lately. Grumble.) It had a lot to do with my inability to match my physical manifestation of the music to my intellectual understanding of what should happen. Plus, I don't love the songs I'm working on right now. (Well, I do love one of them... but I don't care for two that I've been working on for months now.)

Then today, on the way to lessons I told myself, "I can play this game. I AM a Musician today." And since I'm a terrible actor, I couldn't fake my way around it. I simply had to be a real musician. I didn't stress at my lesson. I didn't second-guess my teacher when he said good things about my progress. I was simply a musician.

And I left my lesson happy.

He Growls, You Know

2009-04-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

The cutest monster I know is dressed in a little monster onesie today. It *really* suits him. It's hard to get anything done when he's not contained somewhere. (He was forced into Saucerville this evening when our freezer showed us it was serious about forgetting how to freeze. Good thing rice chex in the little bowl kept him happy.) Alternatively, if he's not getting into something he's likely nursing - or asleep (post-nursing) on top of me and will wake if I move. Again, not much gets done.

Things I do too rarely, due to the Peter excuse, and feel mildly guilty about:

Practice my singing. (My desire to do this has seriously waned. I think my attention span for projects/hobbies maxes out at 3 months.)
Dishes and other necessary near or on floor cleaning. (What did we ever do pre-Roomba?)

Things I should or would like to do if I could knock the boy out long enough to clean and then set up the sewing machine:

Fix the elastics in the BumG diapers.
Make some diapers.
Make at least one sun/bucket hat (for Peter).
Make a nifty bean bag for my camera.
Make crafty gifts... (Will not release details 'till gifts are given.)
Oh, speaking writing of no. 5, I have some things to mail.

What I DO:

I snap photos now and then, and it's pretty easy to play with them on the computer while tending to the milder sides of ~~monster~~ baby care.

Easter In Pictures

2009-04-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Look! I wrapped up a big day in a small amount of words, yet my title remains unreasonably long

2009-03-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Jasper had an emergency-room-level owie today. Luckily, his dislocated elbow was fixed by the doctor doing a little bone manipulation and then making Jasper reach out for a toy. The magic worked. Hurray for doctors! Little Jazz is good as new.

Peter, on the other hand, is obviously all better from his sicknesses and is an insanely bouncy, happy baby.

Crafty Day

2009-03-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

First, I fell in love with this fabric at IKEA:

So, I finally made some curtain panels out of it. I need to go get more. Some of my windows are bigger than others. I do love having colorful trees in my window instead of the drab colorless panels that were there before.

Then, I saw these little decorations hanging in a row on top of a curtain panel on display at IKEA.
I liked the idea, but wasn't going to spend money on the bright doilies. Instead, I thought about what extra fun decorative thing I could do. Spring made me think flowers. So I found directions online for making cloth flowers... They looked cute, and I had lots of little pieces of fabric just sitting around waiting to become something. First, I made these:

And these:
Then I noticed the flowers on the Lyric Art I have...Cool.

Anyway, I strung my bright ones to hang them the way the doilies were on display at IKEA.I don't really like the result. These flowers are too small to even matter in this context. I think they'll work better as clips for bags or clothes or hair. I will try something else for window decoration. (I do love my curtains, though.)

Blogging for Dollars... (Or maybe wasting my time)

2009-03-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I'm a sucker wasting my time, or if taking silly surveys and browsing "student finance" articles (most seem like they're trying to sell you a credit card or an advertisement for a lending company), but I'm participating in yet another activity to earn "scholarship points" to enter "free scholarships." Is this why I'm getting so much loan related spam in my inbox lately?

Scholarship Points looks like it may be a legitimate place, that gives out real scholarships. They have photos and blurbs about winners. The trouble is, it seems really stupid to me to participate in market research simply for scholarships. I'm much more into merit or need based scholarships, but that's just my opinion. I guess everyone could use some help.

You do little activities (like this blog post, reviewing their site, for example) and they'll give you "points." You spend points on the scholarship drawings of your choice. (Um, let's see... do I spend my 125 points entering a $10,000 scholarship or a $1,000 drawing. Hard choice.) Actually, you can divvy up your points, so I do throw about 10 points worth into the smaller drawings, just because less people have entered.

There's nothing difficult about the process, except you have to remember to log in frequently. Winners have to check the winner's page and claim their prize or its given away to someone else. You can get extra points by following them on Twitter, or friending them on Facebook as well.

Sorry for the excess of quotation marks, it just all seems relatively stupid and time wasting to me. However, if I do actually win a scholarship, I take all my skepticism back and will change my tune to: "Do short simple activities, get free money. Hurray!"

For now, I'm still expecting debt... and *hoping* to recieve scholarships through the University.

Another Cloth Diapering post

2009-03-13T19:10:00.000-07:00

A friend of a friend has cloth diapers questions. You'll be surprised at how passionate people can get in their pro or con cloth diaper opinions! Crazy.

Anyway, I've been using cloth diapers for three years now, on two bums. Every kid's bum (not to mention their poop) is different - so as far as stinky and messy, the experience can change from kid to kid. I personally have had way more blow-outs with disposables (which we use on longer vacations, or when the kids are sick/on meds that affect stools). That alone is less gross for me. I HATE blow-out clean up. (And yes, even when using the nicer, more expensive disposable brands.) However, Baby No. 2's poop likely would have made me choose not to do cloth if it weren't for the money savings, and having a sprayer to help clean them.

For cost savings, as long as you don't diaper service, you WILL save money using cloth, even when you buy the nice ones. I did the math once and was blown away at the savings I was getting. And that was before baby no. 2. Not buying diapers for him at all (except for the occasional disposables) has really sent the savings through the roof. (If you're interested in reading, I have done several blog posts about cloth diapers, you can read some by searching for cloth diapers here on the blog.)

Andrea, here are some more answers to your questions and replies to other comments to fill in the gaps:

1. Yes, diaper sprayers make all the difference. I hadn't used them when I posted before, I just had a dedicated brush for wiping stuff off. However, that wouldn't work with baby no. 2's poo. Sprayer = WONDERFUL!

2. Reasons not to CD (cloth diaper) come down to lifestyle choice. CDing is way easier and less time consuming than some people think, BUT IT IS MORE WORK than 'sposies. (Some CD lovers will hate admitting it, but it's true.) You'll likely change diapers just a little more often, and have a little more laundry to do. (You'll already have more laundry to do as the kids come along.)

3. Even the spendy diapers will save you money... EVEN if you eventually decide not to stick with it. Resale value on cloth diapers is surprisingly good, especially if you get good ones (like Bum G's)

4. If you wash CDs in the wrong detergents, they can be worse for rash. Some kids are sensitive to detergents that have enzyme cleaners. However, I happen to use enzyme cleaners anyway because I like them and my kids are ok with them. (Arm & Hammer "Free and Clear" and BioClean for poop stains... although nothing works better than sunshine for removing poop stains. I'm serious! Sun is also best for disinfecting diapers.)

If you use pre-fold style cloth diapers without liners, and change as infrequently as folks using 'sposies do (they can ignore wet ones for a long time due to chemicals in the diapers) you may give your kid rash. The good cloth diapers (I like Bum Genius and Fuzzi Buns) will wick moisture away, and breathe well, so you won't have much problem with rashes. Also, for any diapering (cloth or CD) making sure bums are dry when you seal 'em up in a diaper goes a long way.

Our second son is more prone to rash (it's a sign he's getting sick) and we do find that disposables are useful when he already has rash. As good as the good clothies are, 'sposies do seem to breathe just a bit better.

5. Info about CDs can get overwhelming. My advice is to try a diaper or two in many different varieties and find out what you and your babies bum like best. Then, you can resale all that you don't like, buy more of the ones you do, and enjoy not having diapers on your shopping list. (I still use all but two of the kinds I originally bought. I would buy more varieties just to try 'em, if I needed to. There are some CUTE and SMART diapers out there.) (Rocky Mountain Diapers are first on my "to try" list. Maybe someday.)

6. I believe using cloth makes potty training easier. Laundry loads multiply when they get older (due to potty training and just bigger mess making) anyway, so you may as well start earlier with cloth. Antsy Pants are amazing cloth pull-ups. Me Loves 'Em. (Full disclosure, I am friends with their creator, but I can assure you she's ALL ABOUT high quality. She used to design for Nike, so she knows her stuff.)

Also, for those who have/do read my previous posts, and update about the durability of Bum Genius diapers. I have version (generation?) one of these, and the elastics around the legs have worn out. (The velcro tabs are still just fine, though.) So, I must rate Fuzzy Buns higher on the durability scale. However, new generations of Bum Genius diapers may be better quality. I know the outer fabric is nicer.)

P.S. My husband shrugs and says, "Well, they are more work. But they do save money." Much more concise and to the point. One reason I like him so much.

Busy week at the rainy farm!

2009-02-13T18:34:00.000-08:00

It's been a very full week, so I'm updating a little earlier than usual.

First of all, thank you to all those who Skyped me over the weekend to have me sing for you. It definitely helped my confidence, and the critiques were helpful as well. Also, I learned that my little sister is expecting a baby, due in August. I'm so excited!

Monday was spent in preparations for my interview, climaxing with an emotional freak out in the evening. Once again I'm reminded that I handle stress very strangely, often not recognizing it at all until it takes it's toll physically. I didn't think I was so stressed over this interview, but I obviously was. Of course, the emotional freak out wasn't even directly about the interview, but that's just another notch on my inability to mentally recognize my current stressors. I guess I can intellectually recognize them, it just doesn't compute. I'm gonna have to wrap this up with how thankful I am to have such a loving and supportive husband.

Tuesday morning, there was snow on the ground. PERFECT for a day of mostly driving. (sarcasm check) The drive down wasn't too bad, thankfully. Denise, Peter, and Jasper came with me. I didn't want the baby nursing needs to distract me from a good performance, and Denise was an excellent on-site babysitter. (No, they didn't come into the interview. The stayed in the lounge upstairs.)

The singing part of my audition/interview did not go perfectly... but nothing went *wrong* with it either, it certainly went better than it would have had I not prepared so hard. They only had me sing the first half, though they had me sing it twice 'cause the choral director was out of the room looking for a particular accompanist when I sang it the first time. I was actually pretty comfortable singing, and the smiles on their faces helped me enjoy myself.

The interview portion was actually fun. There was much joking and laughter. They made fun of Idaho... one of them graduated from U of I the year before I went there, another has a wife who is from Idaho... so that was fun. Many of my answers were met with head nods, smiles, laughter, so I felt great when I left the room. They were impressed with my ESL (English as a Second Language) teaching certification, so that may come in handy after all. The final question was "Would you consider teaching at the elementary level? With your eclectic skills you'd be really good at it! Not that we're trying to push you to do it."

I answered, "Sure! After being in the classroom I've really enjoyed working with young kids. But I also think I'd be really good at teaching middle and high school students."

This was followed by a "Good answer!"

The drive home was stressful for me, only because of the weather and my anxious lack of sleep the night before. That evening, I emailed the professors and thanked them for the interview. One of them (head of the choral studies/conducting dept.) responded within five minutes saying he's glad I'm considering OSU for my graduate work and to email him if I have any questions. Seems like a good sign to me!

Wednesday was very full. After Erik got home from work, we went to go visit a friend who's recovering from quintuple bypass surgery. Jasper remained very shy for the whole visit, but he was likely also tired. Our friend (Denise D'Angelo) looks to be recovering very well, and it was so nice to see her. Our next stop made us especially thankful that she didn't have a heart attack...

We then went to the memorial services for Joe Espinoza, a great jazz musician and former collegue of mine. At 52, he died of a stroke on the way to pick up his soon to be 10 year old autistic son from school. He lived a full life, with no regrets, and I'm so glad I had the chance to know him. (Jasper completely slept through the entire thing, and was a little upset about it when he woke up and we were heading home.)

We then taught our Wednesday night dance class. This group has the highest median age of any class I've taught, and they're quite a kick-in-the-pants. Some of them struggle with rhythm, but I love having every one of them in there.

Thursday night, I had the opportunity to go to the opera for the first time. (A friend had a ticket, but had the chance to be in Peru during the show so I made sure his ticket didn't go to waste. Thanks Lindsey!) I've liked Benjamin Britten's music I had previously heard, but I just wasn't into his rendition of "Turn of the Screw." The one thing that WAS impressive, however, was the ten year old, Michael Meo. Along with holding his own along with professional opera singers, he played the piano as part of his role, and it was really good. He should have a great career ahead of him.

Peter is keeping me on my toes, and I'm looking forward to the day I take him out in public without a bruise or scratch on his face. After figuring out how crawling works, he's returned to army crawling. However, he's cruising much more, and even playing a bit with walking toys. He's also pretty demanding for solid foods, and loves whatever he can get. I don't remember Jasper being nearly as bi-polar as this kid is. It seems like he's either giggly happy, or really really mad. Not much in between.

Jasper usually asks to go to the big house almost first thing in the morning. He loves the chance to play with Legos without Peter being a problem, and without having to compete with the older boys for prime toys. Jasper is also practicing his phone skills by calling Grandma before coming over. He sometimes remembers to say goodbye before he hangs up, but not often.

I don't know when I'll hear final results about grad school, but I do know I have some work to do on scholarship applications. Of course I'll keep you posted!

Blond Hair, Brown Sand

2009-02-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

Because Jessica tagged me (fourth pic in my fourth folder), and because I feel like I haven't posted a pic in a while, and because I'm not taking the time for an update post yet.

More than 25 random things about me

2009-02-07T22:05:00.001-08:00

I already did this meme on Facebook, but now I'm doing an additional one on Blogger. If you have not been tagged, I would love if you post 25 random things about yourself (here or on Facebook). Let us all get to know you a little better. :)

2) Since doing this meme, and reading others, the thought keeps popping into my head "that could go on a list of 25 random things about me." I then ponder if that says something about my ego, and if doing more of these is really selfish. On the other hand, things often stick in my head until I get them out somehow, and writing is often the easiest way to do that. As long as I'm writing, I may as well share.

1) I am extremely "field dependent." Among other things, this means my surroundings greatly influence my ability to concentrate. I cannot do anything that requires concentration if something else is going on. Reading with TV or radio on? No go! Therefore, I often give up and play on Facebook instead. It's one reason I don't read as much as I'd like to. Sleeping if others are awake is also usually extremely difficult for me. Also, the mess in my house if often reflective of my feelings. Clean = feel great, clutter = well, you get it. I don't know if the mess or the mood come first though. Chickens. Eggs.

3) I love when people use big words with a glimmer in their eye that says "aren't you proud of how smart I'm trying to be?" I loathe when people use big words with the tone in their voice that says "you probably didn't understand what I just said so don't even try pretending you're as smart as me." However, my current favorite television character is Sheldon. Go figure.

4) I have never and probably will never like the way I look in glasses. I much prefer the look of my face without them. However, my vision is not corrected by soft lenses, I don't have the budget to invest in new hard lenses just to find out if new ones will help or if allergies and wind are all that prevent me from being able to wear my contacts I own now. When we are gainfully employed again, Lasik surgery for me is near the top of our wish list.

5) I once won a hula hoop contest. It was at a dance, and they wanted to see who could last the longest. A few of us lasted so long they continued on with everything else and just had us going off on the side. Then, someone got the idea to make it challenging. We had to move the hoop up to our neck and back down. The quickly eliminated most others on the first try, and on the second round I was the only one still going strong. Can I count this as a winning something in the athletic realm?

6) I find public transportation a great source of inspiration. Overheard conversations hold the same excitement as reading a well-built character, or watching a movie. I imagine entire life stories for the people I hear. Where they're from and where they're going. This helped me with my "I" Search (for those who remember the project from Mr. G's class... for those who don't, it was like a high school level thesis project). It seems like half of my paper illustrated the people I met on the bus on the way to interviews I conducted, or illustrated the crazy librarians who helped me research. (Remember pre-Google days, anyone?) The big question is... do I still find all librarians as loony as I did then. Kristin, David, you may never know. ;)

7) I find bathrooms an easy yet powerful metaphor, often illustrated in movies. Can you name a bathroom scene in a movie that didn't have something to do with self-reflection, loneliness, anger, sorrow, pain, or related emotions? It's a lonely place where you deal with the things you need to deal with. OOooo! I just thought of a movie scene that defies this entire idea. Joan Cusack in the movie Toys. Man, it's been *forever* since I've seen that one.

8) I envy spontaneous artsy eccentrics. There was once an old lady who lived in Red Rock, Nevada, near where my Grandmother wintered during her snowbirding days. The rocks in Red Rock weren't red. So, she painted them. "I'm going to learn to play trombone. I'm going to go to India. I'm going to Medical School." All random desires of a music (piano)/math dual major friend of mine in college. Now, having random "I'm going to..." desires is not foreign to my own nature. But she actually DID them all. Miss-Lissa... my "treehouse" roommate who sang on the kitchen bar with a guitar in hand - interrupting herself to say "wait, is that what a cowgirl sounds like?" and needed to be told when to stop eating because she couldn't recognize the sensation of being full. (Wait, those weren't really illustrations of her spontaneous artsyness, were they.) There are several other people I could mention in this list, who's lives look so magical and free.

9) Continuing on the last thought, I really liked he main character in the movie "Happy Go Lucky." At one point in my life, I was certainly on track to be just like her. Debreifing the movie, Erik mentioned that he and some friends at one point decided the point where you become a grown up is when you have kids. I love being a mother, but I do have a hard time reconciling that fact that I'm a grown up now.

10) A am deeply in love with our IKEA drying rack. I can't find it advertised on their website, so I don't know it's nifty name, but we first saw it in their catalog and it was the item that got us into the store for the first time. (Whoa!, is all I have to say about that.) We'd been shopping around for a good drying rack for a long time. We'd been using Erik's parent's old wooden one, which was nice but sometimes stained clothes, and they began using it more frequently so we needed one of our own. Any similar style wooden racks we could find were much smaller and not stable. But THIS BABY... oh how I love her. She's versitile, she holds tons of clothes (three full loads in this picture, and there's still room to spare) and she folds up very flat. Best $38 we spent all year.

11) One accomplishment I am very proud of is turning a boy from one of those people who has no rhythm, to someone who was completely comfortable on the dance floor. He and his fiance had given themselves a full year to prepare for their wedding dance. He was totally willing to go crazy with his body in order to experience the connection of movement and music. Several of the suggestions on my Dance Primer post about how to get rhythm are inspired by things that we tried that worked! (And if you read it, you thought I was just being ridiculous...)

12) I cannot wiggle my ears. I can roll my tongue. These are both abilities affected by genetics, according to my favorite section of high school science, where I had to survey several family members on these and other things and then make genetic possibility charts. My science teacher graded on a curve, where whoever had the highest score - that grade became 100%... Genetics was the only section where I was top of the class.

13) In transferring through three different colleges, the science requirements always changed. I enjoyed the sciences enough, so I always chose a class on something I had never studied before. I've studied chemistry, physics, biology, physical geography, geology, ecology, and astronomy. I loved them all, am an expert in none. I can barely remember how to do basic algebra, and only because I studied it this year before taking the CBEST. I was a music (theory/composition) major.

14) Until 2000, I disliked more foods than you can name. My parents gave up even trying to cook for me and I would fend for myself at meal time. When I went to Italy, I committed to trying everything at least once. This opened the door for me, and I love so many foods I would never go near before (mushrooms, for one). I now LOVE to try new types of food, but then usually stick with one dish I know I love. (I'll probably order the mole dish at a Mexican restaurant, or Pad Thai at a Thai restaurant, etc.) However, I still can't stand potatoes. (No, not even fries or chips.)

15) My father and I never used to agree about appearances. It wasn't that I would show too much skin or anything, it was that he wished I would dress ... well... nicer. However, the subject hasn't been discussed again since climaxing at a hilarious moment: My parents were coming through my college town after a camping trip and stopped by to take me out for a Birthday meal. After a bit of chatting I asked if we were going to head out. "Don't you want to change first?" My Dad asked, suggesting I would not want to be seen in public wearing my bright red pants, baby blue gingham shirt, and quilted bright blue coat. I burst out laughing... you see, my dad was wearing leather fringed pants, red suspenders, and a pink floral print blouse. (Did I mention he had just been camping, and was a Mountain Man?) I am positive I will find myself in similar silly situations as a parent.

16) I have been sewing for as long as I can remember. My mom taught me how to sew when I was little, and I would create fancy costumes and formal dresses for my Cabbage Patch kids (out of scraps from the real clothes my older sisters were making). In fifth grade, I sewed all my new school clothes including my school bad. That was the year I finally realized how poor my fashion sense was. My tropic print parachute (Hammer) pants would be golden in a "bad fashion from the past" contest today... I don't remember ever following a pattern until I was in college, and I had to have a friend help me. I still don't follow patterns (or recipes) well.

17) A few things I really love but don't do often (if at all) and am nowhere near expert: organic gardening, digital/graphic design, crafting, interior design, gourmet cooking, reading, composing music, singing jazz, hiking, swimming, river rafting, camping...

18) Things I love and do often: eat chocolate, Facebook, read blogs, dream (the waking - "what's in my future" kind).

19) Things I hate and do often: lack patience, speak without thinking, not cleaning up after myself or staying organized.

20) You know those little dreams you have before you actually fall asleep? I have had several of those come true. They're usually nothing important - like an unlikely combination of people walking down a hall together or something - but it's strange when they happen just like I dreamed they would.

21) Having a baby fall asleep on top of me often keeps me on the computer much longer than I intended. Also, I frequently forget to do the task I got on the computer to do in the first place. (Must stop typing list now and go make a meal plan for the week...)

22) I am one of, if not THE youngest of my Portland friends. It doesn't bother me though. I get to be going "over the grassy knoll" when they're going "over the hill." Many of us are in similar life stages - with young babies - so that is nice, and I look up to all of them so much! It's also a nice balance to feeling like an old lady when I visit Utah. Well, that feeling isn't as strong any more now that I am married with kids, but if you're not married by 23, people start to treat you differently there. I hope that feeling is calming down (I wouldn't know, it's been a while since I've been there) but I didn't enjoy it.

23) I think I have an extra dose of sense of smell. (Super-smeller?) Not just when I'm pregnant, though it's about 10x stronger when I am. I can be very sensitive to smells, which is why I think I do not like smelly lotions or perfumes. They're okay on others, in light doses, but it's always too much if it's on my own body. Sometimes the smell of the inside of my own nose bothers me.

24) My in-laws are awesome.

25) My parents are living in Samoa. I doubt I'll get to visit them there. But we do have plans to get together in 2012.

Please define wasteful spending.

2009-02-06T09:52:00.000-08:00

I love how folks in News places are picking the worst excuses for art they can think of, and claiming that Obama wants to fund that garbage with the stimulus package. I wish they would pause and think about two things: the positive influence of arts organizations in their communities, and the fact that a healthy economy stems from creative people. Next, I wish they would look at what the arts funding would really do. Here's the letter to the editor I wrote this morning:

Across the country, not-for-profit Arts organizations stand to lose funding. As the economy worsens, donors tighten their belts. Without generous donations, and government support, these organizations will go under, and people who have dedicated their lives to supporting their communities will lose jobs.

I used to work at such a place. I had the great opportunity to provide a taste of music, theatre, dance or visual arts to children in the poorest schools in New Jersey. Without my work, Emanuel still would never have even seen a guitar, let alone listen to classical music on one, and have the chance to strum one himself. Jennifer never would have had the chance to finally feel like a success at something in school, as she took her final bow in her play.

New job creation requires creative thinking, and this also means supporting arts in our schools and our community. Money for the arts in a stimulus package is not a waste... unlike funding Wall Street executive Superbowl parties.

Week Recap

2009-01-25T12:36:00.000-08:00

Mon: We planned on cashing in on the free day at the zoo, but it was pretty clear that Jasper and Peter were fighting a bug so we opted out of spending the day in the freezing cold. I still went to my voice lessons, which were a bit more frustrating for me than usual. I then came home and read more in "The Art of Possibility" and heard the same sorts of things my voice teacher was saying... "it's all a game." This solo singing thing should be fun. I'm working on it...

Tue: Erik skipped his morning classes to watch the inauguration. We had nice family time cuddled on the couch watching the proceedings online - and a little annoyed at how CNN couldn't get over themselves and their Facebook interaction feature. Would have much rather had them talking to people who were there more instead of reading up people's Facebook stats. However, we really enjoyed the inauguration, and jealously wondered how things were going for Kay-Kay (my sister-in-law who had tickets and was there).

Wed: We discovered Kay-Kay survived the Purple tunnel of doom, so our jealousy died down. But only a little.

Thursday: I don't remember this day. I don't believe it really exists.

Friday: Erik took a "field trip" to PSU's engineering fair, instead of attending regular classes. Jasper had the great pleasure of going with him, and truly enjoyed the day of personal attention. Peter and I had a great day at home, too. Peter's first tooth *finally* popped through. While he napped, I worked on some sewing and was happy with what I accomplished.

Peter is pulling himself from laying on the floor to up on his knees much more often, and occasionally pulls himself up to standing position. He managed to get himself high centered on a box I had set up as a barrier to keep him from entering the kitchen where I was sewing. If I hadn't noticed him, he likely would crashed head first on the the kitchen floor. Adventures in mobility abound!

Saturday: I woke up feeling miserable, and decided that Jasper actually HAD been sick and not just snotty and extra fussy, and Peter likely had more than just teething going on... but Erik was angelic enough to let me get extra sleep, and the rest of the day went much better. We even drove across town (snow and all) to join in a game night with friends. Worth it for sure. I sure wish our friends did not live so far from us! I'm so glad Facebook makes it easier to stay in touch.

Today we're hoping the sunshine will melt the snow and hoping the fire will warm us up. We're enjoying our simple life.

If you missed the swearing in, here's what happened... (sort of).

OBAMA SWEARS IN...FAITHFULLY - watch more funny videos

I Love Mr. Fix-It

2009-01-22T19:11:00.000-08:00

Holy soldering irons Batman, having a husband who knows how to fix things saves us a lot of money. Bailout Billions. Okay, okay, okay, not that much... but it saves us a lot. He just finished fixing my sewing machine (again) (HURRAY!) and now he's fixing headphones. That's after fixing the tail light on the car.

Because he knows how to fix things, we can drive an old car that gets the kind of gas mileage you would drool for. We often have strangers at fuel stations ask what kind of mileage Goldy gets... you can see the green steam shoot from their ears when we tell them. And when the car acts funny (like emitting a smell from the heater that is on par with skunk for anti-perfume) we don't have to stress over a possibly honest mechanic doing who knows what to our engine.

He doesn't always get everything perfect on his first try, but he doesn't let that keep him from trying.

*Creative Commons use photo by Alistair Craven on flickr.

Batteries

2009-01-21T10:09:00.001-08:00

batteries
Originally uploaded by brohammas.

My amazing, lucky sister-in-law, just days after shaking President (elect-at-the-time) Obama's hand in Philadelphia, scored tickets to the inauguration.

BUT - she was one of the people caught in this mess. (For those who don't click to the article, she had a ticket but still didn't get in.)

Kay-Kay is one of those shining amazing people who finds the bright light in every situation. Her account has focused on the friends she made while waiting in the tunnel, and then waiting in ~~line~~ mob. Her friend had a portable TV which she, and several around them, ended up watching the proceedings which were so close, yet so far away.

And here's one of those emergency (but-not-really) situations that prove to me how wonderful people are. In Kay-Kay's words: "The TV died halfway through Barack's speech. But our friends lent a hand. Look how many people were giving Jess batteries. Small glitch-we were back in business in seconds."

Sure it was disappointing and frustrating to not get in. But I'm taking away the lesson: There is good in every situation, and there are friends all around you.

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural speech

2009-01-21T09:51:00.000-08:00

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land -- a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America -- they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted -- for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk- takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg, Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions, greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act -- not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them -- that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works -- whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account -- to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day -- because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control -- and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity, on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort -- even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West -- know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow, to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders, nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends -- hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence -- the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed -- why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world … that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive … that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back, nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

Please Advise Me: Kids and Lessons

2009-01-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

(Creative Commons use photo by Suzba on flickr.)

There is a Suzuki violin school in Portland that looks high quality, and starts kids off as early as 3. I've always loved seeing tiny little musicians - and dream of my own kids being one of those. I believe all children have musical ability, and if guided and shaped can become excellent musicians early on. However, I have no idea if Jasper would have any interest, and I don't have the budget to sign up for violin lessons in March (when he turns three)... especially if I don't know if he'd be into it or not. (Not to mention buying a violin, bow, case, strings, music, etc.)

So, I've been looking into alternatives. I love the idea of giving lessons or experiences, rather than "stuff" as gifts. The problem is, stuff is a one time cost that can easily be justified.

But, when it comes to making justifications, Erik told me "we're doing all this for them anyway, right?" I think he has a point. I'd rather invest in my kid learning a skill than just ignore it as something that's too expensive.

There are plenty of skill learning opportunities for three-year-olds out there: Sports (T-ball, soccer, swimming), Gymnastics or dance, and I found a Musikgarten studio right nearby in Gresham.

So now I have to weigh options. What would interest Jasper most? What kind of budget do we have for this type of thing? How far am I willing to travel to take him to things? What level of quality will I settle for?

On a related note:
I really like the idea of an artsy playschool coop. Once a month would be music (I could host that), once a month visual art, then movement/dance, then perhaps something educational in another sense or field-trip style activities. I'm hosting a playgroup that I attend maybe once every-other month tomorrow, so I guess I'll start there to see if anyone is interested.

Back on the lessons idea, I have a question for you.

How did you make the choices for starting your kids with lessons?
What are pros and cons?
What advice do you have for me?

Thanks!

Fabric Question

2009-01-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

Someone once told me that if you clip the corners of new fabric before you pre-wash it, you won't get as much fraying. Is this true? Dear fabric using friends and family, have you heard this? Pros? Cons?

Thanks for Forgiving!

2009-01-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

We all say stupid things sometimes. It's part of being human. But writing stupid things can be all that much worse... writing can seem so - permanent.

I'd like to think my tact is improving... but especially when I'm sleep deprived and hormonal, the filter doesn't work so well.

I'm so thankful for kindhearted and forgiving friends. If I could think of a way to turn it into a more tangible goal, I'd say I want to work on improving my tact this year. To be more thoughtful when it comes to how I treat others, and what I say about them. Especially when I'm sleep deprived and hormonal.

How would you turn something like that into an actual, achievable goal?

Going with the Flow

2009-01-01T21:48:00.000-08:00

I used to be a crazy goal setter, and sometimes (like when I have a big family reunion coming up) I become an crazy planner. But most of the time, I'm a drifter and a dreamer. I have been pretty good at taking things as they come and adapting as I go, and I like where it's gotten me so far. It may have taken me a bit longer to "settle down" than many of the friends I grew up with. And it's certainly taken me longer to find a career path than most... though I never felt directionless in the area.

This is one area where Eastern philosophies have always attracted me. No, I don't plan on converting to Buddhism or anything, but the way they approach appreciating the present speaks to me. I love the oft used imagery of water, soft and gentle yet stronger than stone, it flows constantly filling and forging a path, yet there it is - the water in the river - always present - always behind and ahead all at once; not fighting its destiny.

This year is going to be great. I'm thirty years old, mother of two, probably starting graduate school, and supporting my husband as he chases his dream. I may do projects here and there aside from working toward becoming a choir teacher. I have ideas, but I am not prepared to set goals regarding them. I still want to become a better writer, mother, crafter, wife, socializer, housekeeper, cook . . . that is not in priority order . . . but mostly, I'm simply excited to see where the year takes me.

Welcome, 2009!

Reverse Resolutions

2008-12-31T17:04:00.000-08:00

In 2008 I will:

Create a new garden from a weed/tire patch.
Build a cold frame.
Give birth to a baby, naturally, and come out alive and happy.
Get serious about going to graduate school and becoming a teacher.
Pass every exam I take.
Get our "own" space for my family.
Throw a huge party for anyone who's related to me, but most especially have time with ALL of my immediate family together.

Wow. That was awesome. I love this reverse resolution business. I got the idea from a GNMParents article by AmyL. Here's what she said:

"Write a list of brags and accomplishments for the year. When you’ve got the list, put a title on it: 2008 Resolutions. Then cross everything off! No more writing a list of wishes in January only to disappoint yourself in June. Instead let’s celebrate what we’ve gotten done so far."

I'd love to hear from you. What are your 2008 Reverse Resolutions?

I Heart Tortillas.

2008-12-30T20:09:00.001-08:00

The good news is I can now say conclusively I do not have Celiac disease. (Yeah, Lyric, we can rest easy on that one now.)

The bad news is I was totally blind-sided by the lab's bill. I thought "simple blood test" would have a simple cost attached. I am frequently paying them $45 for my thyroid tests so I expected something in that ballpark. And I don't mind the additional $45 I pay to my doctor to draw the blood in the first place. (We LOVE our Dr.)

But when the lab bill came for $190, I was more than a little shocked. I'm still shocked. I'll be calling them tomorrow to ask (beg, plead, grovel) for a discount. $190 may not seem like much if you have insurance, or income for that matter. But we don't.

If I had known it was this expensive, I would have just experimented and gone gluten free for a while (again). At least I can still enjoy my tortillas...

Picture Christmas Recap

2008-12-27T17:34:00.000-08:00

Jasper is obviously elated to see what Santa brought for him. For me, the parenting/giving end of Christmas is SO much better than the getting side of things. This has been an amazing year.

Jasper and Peter show off their haul:

My favorite family photo of the night:

We had a great Christmas, which lasted two days since not everyone could make it here on Christmas proper. Kids, family, food, FUN! Good times had by all.

Toys

2008-12-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

PlanToys has really cool toys. Like this balancing coral game (pictured), or fantastic vehicles.

Jolly Mom is doing a $100 giveaway of PlanToy food toys. Our boys just got a picnic basket/play table with dishes inside, and some toy food would be for too cool to go with it. Hurry over and enter. The contest ends December 28th.

Yup, if we had any money I don't doubt we would spoil our kids with toys. Actually, that would just be an excuse. There are so many COOL toys out there these days!

(Yes, I'll get to a Christmas "what we got" update later.)

Stress Free Happy Days

2008-12-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

Celebrating has begun. I baked the Christmas casseroles this morning, and, as usual, there are no leftovers. I got to Skype with my parents today, which is nice. They're planning to spend Christmas on the beach and go snorkeling. Man, life in Samoa must be tough.

I finished up my grad school application, and it's ready to be mailed. I'm playing Facebook scrabble with an old college buddy as I type this post. The boys are watching KungFu Panda. The freezing rain hasn't started yet.

Life is good!

I have a feeling Christmas is going to last a long time this year. If folks aren't making it over tomorrow (sad, but safe is best), we'll be streaming through gift exchanges for some time.

Plus, I think my siblings may be doing a Valentine time line for our gift exchange. (Or something, right?)

I LIKE this long-lasting gifting business.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

Rudolph will be needed this year

2008-12-23T14:21:00.001-08:00

I don't know if it's just the snow and snow and snow and ice and snow and snow outside, or having more little ones in my life, or having a little one that's big enough to "get it" or what... but
I. CAN'T. WAIT. FOR. CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
!

Also, here is my favorite snow picture I've taken. The bike is completely buried now, and we'll have to do some rust work come Spring, but still, this picture says something.

For Once!

2008-12-19T20:55:00.001-08:00

100_8483
Originally uploaded by amberlynnlane.

I actually took your advice, Dad. Aren't you proud of me? And you know what? It worked. I went outside this morning and have had a fantastic, stress-free day.

Although, as usual, I did adapt the advice regarding attire. I fear the idea of going out in my shirtsleeves, and ending up freezing. Even with cocoa in hand, I fear cold. Bundled up in a snowsuit I got to play in the snow AND be warm.

Thanks for reminding me how much going outside helps.

I love you, Dad.

Jazzy Bear's Playground

2008-12-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

Jasper is launching his own blog. Anyone who knows him personally and would like to be on the invite-only reader list, let me know and I'll sign you up.

Thanks,

Jazzy's Momma

A Reply from my Dad

2008-12-18T17:49:00.001-08:00

"Amber,

Run outside, shirtsleeves only, run up and down the road real quick, lay down in the snow and make a snowangel, run inside to a cup of warm hot chocolate, let out a deep sigh, and stress level drops. Got that? Go for it!

Although I enjoyed most of the outdoor activities we did, one of the main purposes was to relieve stress. I asked myself more than once what the heck I was doing out in freezing weather, but then my brain got so numb from being frozen, I forgot all about my stress.

Love you,

Dad"

Thanks Dad, you're so right! I realized last year while gardening what a HUGE stress relief simply going outside can be.

"Oh the weather outside is frightful.... let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!" (Now where did my snowsuit go?)

Working through the stress...

2008-12-18T11:28:00.000-08:00

The snow outside is beautiful.
The little boys running around on the floor are fun.
I passed the Praxis exam, and am thrilled to not have to take it a second time. Just one more thing pushing me toward this goal of becoming a teacher one day.

The personal essay is still stressing me out beyond what I should allow. However, last night after a second round of "nope, this essay won't do" I decided to view it more of a cover letter for a job application. For some reason, looking at it this way has taken some of the pressure off and I was able to draft a third essay in one sitting this morning. Of course, it needs revision before I once again ask readers to weigh in... but I think I'm gonna be okay.

I have not been handling stress well lately. I'm trying to be aware and not let others become victims of my bad moods. It doesn't always work, but I really am trying.

Yesterday - which was a *really* hard day for me (mostly because Peter was having a really hard day) - I decided to put effort into cheering up my atmosphere and get the positive benefits from that. I pulled the Christmas decorations out of their boxes and bags and put them up on the walls. I updated photos in frames on the walls. I washed dishes and laundry. It always helps my mood when the kitchen counters are clean and clear...

This emotional stuff makes me nervous about Grad school. I love learning... love it love it love it. I love being in school with challenging classes. But the stress of the application process is affecting me and my family - and I worry about the stress for us when I'm in school.

I don't want to give up, but these worries and thinking about the expense of more schooling are on my mind and add to the stress. Oh, but I'm trying.

Erik does wonderful things to help... he's the most amazing man ever. This morning he made french toast - which is my favorite breakfast, especially when made by him. Jasper gives wonderful hugs and loves, and Peter has the most fun personality I can't help but feel great when he smiles or laughs.

So really, my life is good. I just have to remember to pause and enjoy it!

Sweet Pete

2008-12-01T21:46:00.001-08:00

SweetPete-4
Originally uploaded by amberlynnlane.

Am I lucky, or what?

DDD (Dancers, Drummers, Dreamers)

2008-11-30T21:46:00.000-08:00

Does anyone have a video copy of DDD from 2001 or 2002... I don't remember exactly what year it was, but I mean the year I wrote the crazy Siren piece and danced the Sing, Sing, Sing jazz insanity? My creative portfolio is surprisingly empty due to my pride at the time. I didn't want a copy 'cause the night they recorded the choir was singing in the wrong key! How stupid of me.

Well, now that I'm getting serious about my creative endeavors again, especially the musical ones, I'm seeking to gather in a portfolio of my work. That, and I never did get to watch my number as a non participating observer. I hear the Sirens piece was pretty freaky (as was intended).

Alternatively, is there anyone who still lives in the Moscow area who could help acquire a copy from the University?

Educational Philosophy

2008-11-29T15:14:00.000-08:00

Now to put this into essay form...

Four Scenes from Thanksgiving, Part IV

2008-11-28T15:12:00.000-08:00

-
Should we go to the parade? not if we have to fight traffic.
-

It sounded like a good idea, before anyone looked at the schedule. The Macy's parade on TV looked like fun. Kids love parades. We've never taken the kids to the local Christmas parade. It would be a great way to celebrate the holidays...

But NOT at 8:30 a.m. on Friday morning.

"But we've talked about it in front of the kids," says mom/Grandma/my MIL.

"No problem," replies her partner in parenting crime. (Partner in crime sounded good at first, but their loving parenting is nothing approaching criminal!) "We'll simply bribe them with play station. They'll be glad to stay home and play."

"They won't be awake by then anyway," comes the response.

It's not an argument, just the lively chatter among too many parents and aunts deciding the fate of the morning at once. However, consensus does seem to have come over the room as we begin a list of the several down sides of going.

"And we'd have to fight shopping traffic," I add, and a chorus of approving groans fills the room.

***

Now, I've never been against great shopping bargains, but I've never felt the need to wait in line at 5 a.m. to be the first to snag some stuff that I don't really need anyway. I've once or twice thought it would be fun to go simply for the social experience, but I was warned you get to see a very ugly side of people. Now, I like to think I remain a bright eyed optimist when it comes to human nature. I also do love the idea of deconsumerizing the holiday season to focus on its more positive and loving aspects. Thus, I have become a participant of "Buy Nothing Day."

Here's yet another reason to demonstrate a desire to stop the madness: http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2008/11/28/2008-11-28_worker_dies_at_long_island_walmart_after.html
It's beyond tragic to me that we could let our excitement to please our loved ones with stuff surpass our ability to value the health and safety, not to mention life, of those around us. My condolences go out to the victim and his family. Let's all remember the reason for the season, and try to live in ways that share love with family and strangers alike.

Four Scenes from Thanksgiving, Part III

2008-11-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

Scene III, Hot Chocolate Soup

For those who ate the standard feastly portions, lounging on couches to aid digestion while chatting is standard practice. But at least one person declared "I don't like it" when facing off the green bean casserole, and has plenty of room left in his stomach.

I guess he needed to show us his idea of a proper Thanksgiving meal. Wiping his hands on his apron alternated between stirring miniature pots and swooshing imaginary liquids to and from containers. One at a time, masterpiece meals make their way into the hands and mouths of silly big people who think turkey is enough to eat.

"What is it," asks a cousin, holding a dainty blue tea cup.

"Hot chocolate soup," the chef declares, running back to his kitchen to prepare more culinary masterpieces for the rest of us to enjoy.

MMMmmmmmm.

(Remind me to post the recipe my sister gave me for what we have now officially named "Hot chocolate soup." I'm sure my MIL wants it, and I should get it typed up so I can erase it from the white board.)

Four Scenes from Thanksgiving, Part II

2008-11-28T14:53:00.000-08:00

Part II, Thankful for Thanksgiving

Being two and a half isn't easy. Parents force you away from the action to go sit in a solitary room with pants around your ankles, while they tell you they're leaving you here alone to go get the little brother who has been stealing away the attention that used to be (and rightfully so) all yours!

"No," Jasper tells me. "I want Peter to stay at the pump-house."

"But Peter needs to come over for the party. It's Thanksgiving, so we're having a party at the big house."

Jasper retains just enough self control to remain on the potty as he cheers, "Yeah! A Party! I LIKE that!"

"So you don't mind if I leave you here while I go bring Peter over for the party?"

"No, you do that. I LIKE a party!" Hands are clapping bare knees as the crooked smile watches me leave.

But little brothers can lead to forgetful parents. I was sitting in the living room, chatting away with someone when I hear "Mom! I want you! I'm all done on the potty." A mixture of pride regarding his display of patience and guilt for leaving him alone so long springs me immediately off the couch, through the maze of people scattered through the room, and in the bathroom to help him up.

While I adjust pants to fit securely on his small frame, I make the kind of small talk that you make with a two and a half year old. "Thanksgiving is a day we give thanks. What are you thankful for Jasper? Toys? Uncles?"

Displaying the proper thinking actions he learned from his aunt and uncles, his eyes roll to the corner as his finger taps his chin. "Ummmm... Thanksgiving!" He proclaims.

"You're thankful for Thanksgiving?" I ask, to clarify.

"Yeah," he says, beaming at me for understanding him so well.

Yes. I'm thankful for Thanksgiving too.

Four Scenes from Thanksgiving, Part I

2008-11-28T14:26:00.000-08:00

Scene One: Stupid human tricks

I've forgotten how important personal fascinating tricks are for school aged-children, even after the Napoleon Dynamite reminded us all of the need for skills. Living a life centered on diaper changing, feeding, laundry, and dishes can lead to skill decay. It's a good thing we have periodic family gatherings where the young ones remind us of the vital need to maintain our skills.

Try as she might, Myka was failing to impress any of us with her mind-reading abilities. Well, she was usually wrong. Even after going through the process of pinching and poking the hands of willing subjects (and not everyone was willing), she mostly met with groans and teasing comments (the loving familial kind that appear to do little or no harm). Exaserbated by her inability to impress her elders she sought a mentor. "Do you have any hand tricks?" She pleaded with me.

Hand tricks. Hand tricks. My mind raced through the catalogue of years, searching for anything that could fit in the category of hand tricks. Unimpressed with my repitoire, I wondered if I could still demonstrate an old schoolyard skill... "Well, I can do this," I replied, holding up my almost straight fingers, pointing to the only bend in the top joint of my pointer finger.

"Like this?" Showing the "dare to fail" excitement of youth, she immediately attempted to immitate, raising a tense claw.

With pride in my superior finger bending skills I gloated, "Nope! See how you're bent here and here? I'm only bending the very top joint." My field of view swarmed with eager faces and hands competing for approval. I underestimated the interestingness of my skills! It would do no harm to pass the knowledge on, I justified, and began to advise my admirers on proper finger-bending techniques until several of them were demonstrating effeciency. I imagined them showing off their newest hand tricks to friends at school, and selfishly enjoyed being the one who passed the sucess secrets to the next generation.

"What other tricks do you have?" Inquiring minds want to know.

Other tricks? Wasn't the test over? Hadn't I shown how impressive I am? But the catalogue had opened, and there was no sense in stopping the exploration. Can I still give myself that hug around the neck? Can I still touch my elbows together behind my back? No, Richard, please don't ask girls if they can.

I wasn't alone. The living room soon became a family circus with participating adults sharing their own skills. No numshucks or bow hunting was involved, but the ever vital skills of smiles and laughter were being mastered all around.

Shining Eyes

2008-11-24T22:18:00.000-08:00

THIS is it! This is why I want to teach! And why I want to teach a CHOIR! Can you hear the possibility? Are your eyes shining?

Just an update... back to my relatively long winded posts

2008-11-16T09:34:00.000-08:00

I got to chat with Dalyn this week, which was great. It had been a long time!

Also, I had trouble sleeping every night *except for Friday night, the night before my exam. I'm thankful for that. On the positive side, part of my waking insomniatic energies have been creative - so I've been getting some composition done.

I won't really be able to say how the test went for about four weeks now. I'm pretty confident about the second test I took... I may not have done perfectly, but I'll be surprised if I didn't do well enough to pass. The first test I'm not so confident about. The questions were generally pretty easy, and there wasn't too much I wasn't familiar with, but I didn't pace myself well enough and didn't finish. As you don't get points off for missed answers, my plan was to hurry and fill in bubbles during the last minute. That didn't happen, as the last minute snuck up on me. I'll be very happy if I pass - as I won't have to spend the time and money on it again. But, if I have to take it a second time I'm sure I'll pass. I'll start at the end of the test, which was the easiest section for me, and work toward the beginning. That way, it will also be easier to pace myself and see how close I am to finished. I will also run through as fast as I can for a first pass, skipping any questions that require any pause in thought.

Anyway, now I need to focus on my Psych class homework which was neglected this week; house cleaning, which has been neglected for several weeks, and relearning math over the next three weeks.

Not much new with the rest of the immediate family: Erik continues to be smart, and the boys continue to be adorable. Our Aunt Drenda was diagnosed with breast cancer on Friday, though - which of course is a big deal. She's got an MRI to test the other side on Monday, and surgery on Tuesday. We're all hoping they caught it early enough that things get taken care of through the surgery. Hope is accompanied by prayers and all the good energies we can send her way. (Deep breath.) We love you Drenda!

Mental Saturation

2008-11-13T16:20:00.000-08:00

Weeks and weeks of study have come to this. I now feel as ready as I want to feel for my exam on Saturday. I haven't been sleeping well this week for a variety of reasons. I begin to study, last very well for maybe up to five minutes at a time, and then my brain hits saturation. I want to take in nothing more that requires power. I have no television, so I flip through tabs on my browser. Bloglines, nothing new. Gmail, nope, not there either. Facebook - hello, you just checked five minutes ago, and although there are new status updates, there's nothing exciting to see here right now. Flickr, now that Halloween is over picture posting has really come to a stand-still. I'm considering going on an information diet with this is over.

Peter turns, wiggles, flops and drools on the carpet. It would be nice to lay down and take a nap with him... only he tends to kick and it gets annoying. His smiles and gurggles are adorable, though.

I'm dreaming of my future classroom now, almost daily. Yes, I mean daily. These are waking dreams. Visions of inspiring lessons, awesome projects, great music. Sometimes, I have to get up and write the ideas down before sleep begins to be an option.

I need to stop rambling before things get scary...

Autmn is "Awetome"

2008-11-10T00:22:00.001-08:00

JazzyLeaves-4
Originally uploaded by amberlynnlane.

You gotta love flying leaves.

The light is at the end of the tunnel

2008-11-08T09:49:00.000-08:00

One week from today... from this morning... from NOW, I take the big music exams that have consumed most of my mental energies for weeks. one. more. week.

Then I get to spend a few weeks teaching myself all the math I've forgotten before the CBEST. It's been 13 years since I've studied that stuff!

Yes, We Can

2008-11-05T16:19:00.000-08:00

We felt it. Last night. The reality that we were part of something historic. Something that will find it's way into every future U.S. History book. And we nervously watched our computer screens as results started ticking in. We danced with joy when our preferred candidate was victorious. We listened in admiration as McCain spoke with respect to his opponent. And we listened is hope, energy, and awe as Obama spoke about our future. Liberal Portlanders (who conservative pundits would target as "America Haters") took to the streets, dancing, waving American flags, and spontaneously breaking out into a chorus of "The Star Spangled Banner." (No we, we stayed at home with our little ones, but ate good ol' American Root Beer Floats to celebrate.)

Of COURSE we are not blind or naive. We know that President Elect Barack Obama is not a demi-god sent to deliver us all our hopes and dreams for this country. We know no politician is perfect, and dreams don't come true without work.

However, beyond all the cautious optimism and wondering, we felt it. Hope. History. Inspired. Again. Hearing my brother's amazing story of his experiences yesterday further broadens that hope. YOU SHOULD READ THIS: http://dalynart.blogspot.com/2008/11/november-4th-2008.html

I found this quote today, wish I knew who to attribute it to, but thought it appropriate: "Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk. Martin Luther King walked so Barack Obama could run. Barack Obama is running so our children can fly." As Dalyn often points out in his blog, there is much work we all need to do if equality is to come to all races, if fear of "the other" is to leave our imaginations, if we truly will fulfill Dr. King's Dream. But hope is not lost. And with work... Yes, we can!

"Look, Passers-by, Here is my heart!"

2008-10-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

My voice teacher gave me a new song cycle to learn this week, and I love it! It's "Four Songs" by Jean Berger, based on poems by Langston Hughes. I have to share one that makes me smile (and wonder about the future) of some wonderful people I have met that have courageously shared their hearts:

Heart

Pierrot
Took his heart
And hung it
On a wayside wall.

He said,
"Look,
Passers-by,
Here is my heart!"

But no one was curious.
No one cared at all
That there hung Pierrot's heart
On the public wall.

So Pierrot
Took his heart
And hid it far away.

Now people wonder
Where his heart is
Today.

There's a Mess in the Kitchen

2008-10-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

My studies were just interrupted by a little boy, dressed in blue, with a mop in one hand and a wash cloth in the other.

"Mom, there's a mess in the kitchen," he tells me.
"Ok. What do you want me to do," I ask him.
"Get this [the cloth] wet and put it on there [the end of the mop]..."

So I do. "Where the mess?" I don't see any.
"Right there," he points. Ok, the floor isn't perfectly clean. It could use a little wipe, but there's no big mess.

Is my son adorably awesome, or should I be worried? :)

He's mopping every bit of linoleum he can find.

New things this week.

2008-10-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

Hi. I'm Jasper. I do things that are awesome. (Sounds like awtum.)

I can play Starfall all by myself, pushing O and the -> arrow button, and moving the mouse button. I can even identify and move the right letters on the game at the end of this activity.

I can draw tiny little pumpkins. (Sounds like bokin.)

I can find the letter O on pages in the newspaper.

I can ride my bike down the little big hill. And, I have my own made up soundtrack while doing it. (Eat your heart out Bill Cosby.)

In his words: "Mom, I go bye now. Write Jasper making an O!" He then proceeds to sing things I don't understand.

I Voted

2008-10-21T09:29:00.000-07:00

My ballot has been filled out, and I am ready to turn it in. For my record's sake, and for accountability reasons, I'm noting how I voted. I'm not going to take the time to defend my reasons why at the moment, though.

Pres: Obama - D
Senate: Smith - R
Rep: Blumenauer* - D (This is my third time voting for him, and I am SO happy with his voting record)

Sec of State: Kate Brown
Treasurer: Ben Westlund
Attorney General: J Ashlee Albies (of the "Working Families" party)
State Rep: Suzanne VanOrman (Who I was tempted not to vote for due to the VAST amount of mail she sent me, but she is the better candidate so I gave in.)
BLI: Brad Avakian
Sheriff: Muhammad Ra'oof (I know Skipper is practically my neighbor, but I really liked Ra'oof's answers in the questioneer better.)
Soil & Water: John Sweeny
Director: Peter Finley Fry

Measures:
54-Y
55-Y
56 -Y
57-N
58-N
59-N
60-N
61-N
62-N
63-N
64-N
65-Y
26-96-Y

Instrument Transposition Chart

2008-10-18T16:38:00.000-07:00

More from today's study land:

http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=pcuT9SiEdpr7g0SVfYMknAg
(it's an instrument transposition chart)

Any suggestions for making it prettier?

Interesting Studies...

2008-10-18T13:10:00.000-07:00

I have a list of 54 composers to "get to know well" along with the warning: "the following is not intended as a complete list." I should be able to name the composer by listening to an excerpt of their music. Today's study brought me to this interesting song written and performed by Charles Ives in 1943. (Yup, I've only made it through "I" so far. The test is four weeks from today.) Interesting stuff...

Lyrics:

There's a time in many a life
When it's do, though facing death,
When our soldier boys
Will do their part that people can live
In a world where all will have a say.

They're conscious always of their country's aim,
Which is liberty for all.

'Hip, hip, hooray,' you'll hear them say,
As they go to the fighting front.

Brave boys are now in action!
They are there, they will help to free the world.

They are fighting for the right,
But when it comes to might,
They are there, they are there, they are there!
(You bet they'll be!)

As the Allies beat up all the war hogs.
Our boys'll be there, fighting hard,

And then the world will shout
the battle cry of freedom,

Tenting on a new campground,
Tenting tonight, tenting on a new campground,

For it's rally round the flag of the People's New Free World, shouting the battle cry of freedom!

When we're through this cursed war,
All those dynamite-sneaking gougers,
Making slaves of men (God damn them),

Then let all the people rise
and stand together in brave, kind humanity.

Most wars are made by small, stupid,
selfish bossing groups,

While the People have no say,

But there'll come a day,
Hip, hip, hooray,

When they'll smash all dictators to the wall!

Let's build a people's world nation, hooray!
Every honest country free to live its own,
native life!

They will stand up for the right,
But when it comes to might,
They'll be there, they'll be there, they'll be there!
(You bet they'll be.)

Then the People, not just politicians,

Will rule their own lands and lives,
And you'll hear the whole universe
Shouting the battle cry of freedom,

Tenting on a new campground,
Tenting tonight, tenting on a new campground,

For it's rally round the flag
of the People's New Free World,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!

Huge Headed Baby

2008-10-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

Peter had a Well-Baby Check-up today.

Weight: 50th percentile
Height: 75th percentile
Head: 90th percentile

"Check out the size of that cranium! I mean, that's a huge noggin'."

Did nothing more than flinch for the first three shots, but finally cried a little on the last two. Now that we're home he's only happy if I'm holding him. Makes it a little hard to type, let alone attempt to study.

Hope you made it safely on the first leg our your journey, Mom and Dad!

You may be sick of political talk - but you've GOT TO VOTE!

2008-10-10T09:38:00.000-07:00

First, some truly non-partisan sites to help you get the facts straight (truly and honorably, no-spin zones):

factcheck.org When candidates tell a lie, they ring the buzzer
votesmart.org See how they've really voted on the issues you care about
congress.org Has many features, but my favorite is that you can easily keep up to date on the issues you care about. They simply tell you how your representatives voted and what votes are upcoming through a really easy to read weekly email, which makes it super simple for you to contact your reps directly, not through some PAC or other pre-worded pre-spun message.

And then, I want to say what he said....
Please don't think personal smears must be the only way to run a campaign. When we elect folks who lie just so you won't vote for the other guy... we get liars for leaders.

Wes, I join your plea. Please, Republicrat, Democan, or Independant, consider a vote for Obama. (Read Wes's reason why here.)

You wouldn't think the ability to roll would make such a big difference...

2008-10-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

At four months old, Peter is completely proficient at rolling over and traveling short distances on his own. I'm finding it much harder to find effective study time. (He'll get stuck somewhere and cry... and you can't just leave him on the bed... and.... and...)

I CAN wait 'till he can crawl. Or walk. Oh, no!

Wordless Wednesday: Superman Can Fly

2008-10-08T17:29:00.000-07:00

Blurrr

2008-10-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

Another day goes by in the fuzz of study.
Ask me how I'm doing in 8 weeks...

Garden Update

2008-10-01T16:42:00.001-07:00

For the one who asked...

If you look past the mounds of seeding lettuce and weeds, you'll find some produce in the garden patch. Erik has been enjoying a few tomatoes every few days... just as I'm doing with strawberries. (Yes! I'm STILL getting strawberries!)

We've made a commitment to pick and eat some corn today, before it's too late. I should go do that now. I hope it's still good!

There are several good sized volunteer pumpkins growing. Almost enough for one for each kid here. But, I just may want to carve my own this year...

A garden blogger I enjoy calls the bug eaten portions "paying tithing." I like that - although if you look at this cabbage there's a lot of back-pay happening. Maybe next time we'll work on cabbage protection.
There's a cabbage farm down the road that we pass periodically on the way to the freeway. I personally think that much cabbage at once is sorta stinky!

Now miss Haven, may I have an update on your veggie patch?

Back in the saddle again.

2008-09-29T20:35:00.000-07:00

My version of the story is that I was riding bareback, and nobody told me it wouldn't hurt the horse if I held on to it's mane. When it spooked and jumped a little bit, I fell off. And broke my arm. (Dalyn remembers it a little differently, but he's not the one who ended up with broken arm now, is he?)

It was maybe third or fourth grade when I was brave enough to try again. I gripped the saddle horn, and was propped up onto the saddle. Suddenly, my high seat began to give, and I found myself flying the the flower patch nearby. After dusting off, I turned to see the horse rolling in the dirt like a happy kitten who wants its belly scratched. That could have been me, squished like a cartoon between horsie and dirt.

Mom and Dad eventually sold the horses, before I gained the courage to get up again. I never had the chance to get on one again. Until yesterday.

Now, you don't need to dampen this by saying it was just a two minute stroll around the orchard. And that his "Momma" was there at the lead rope. Or that we all wore bike helmets just in case.

You can't even see the fear on my face.

Jasper's face, is another story.

Update from the Rainy Farm

2008-09-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

It's suddenly become CRAZY busy around here. Erik's school started this week, and he has a full load with engineering, vector calculus, statistics, computer programming, and the like. I'm only taking one official class - and it doesn't start until tomorrow. However, I registered for the tests I need to take to get into grad school, and have figured out how much daily studying I need to do to be caught up when test time rolls around. I would really like to pass the first time, as these are the only chances I have before the application is due... so it could affect whether I get in next year or not. But mainly, because the tests are really expensive. I'm not worried about the general knowledge test. As long as I review fractions, geometry, and algebra before that one I should do just fine. The music ones have me scared, though, as most people have to take them twice... and most people take them while they're in their undergrad working on the stuff daily. I haven't studied most of this stuff for six years now! Luckily, I still have the textbooks that I really need to study, and I've found online aids and quizzes for them.

I figured out with all the studying, plus the "unofficial" classes (things I was advised to do before sending in my grad school application) I have a full-time college load as well this term. I found a good voice teacher, and will be working with him weekly. I'll be volunteering at the elementary school twice a week, and observing at the middle school twice a week.

Jasper is slowly adjusting to having mom and dad leave for school. He's been overly spoiled having us both around all the time for a year now - so it's a bit jolting to have us both leaving for part of the day every day. Even with Grandma here he's cried that he misses me. And I've only been gone for 2 hr. stretches. He's extra clingy when we're home.

We also started teaching dance classes again this week, through Mt. Hood Community College this time... MUCH closer than where we used to teach. The first impression of our new crowd is that they're going to be fun.

Despite sneaking in study time here and there, we had a great time yesterday. Our almost-nieces came over for the evening. (Erik's brother is engaged to a wonderful girl who has three daughters!) Jasper will have a cousin just 3/4year older then him that lives nearby to play with. They were adorable playing baseball with each other! We also roasted sausages and s'mores over the fire. I mostly went for the low-cal version, meaning cutting out those pesky marshmallow and graham cracker calories. Yeah chocolate!

Earlier in the day we went to the local "teddy bear" parade, where anyone who wants to brings along their teddy bears to walk the parade. Of course there were lots of kids... but from my memory, they didn't seem to go as all out as we did for the 24th of July parades growing up. I didn't see any streamers on bikes or anything. HOWEVER, there were bikes, 'cause they had a corresponding bike-safety fair. We scored FREE bike helmets for me, Jasper, and Peter. (Erik already has one.) Now, I just need a bike - and a trailer to haul the kids. We'll be watching Freecycle!

How to get in to the classes you want

2008-09-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

Another tutorial inspired by our "back to college" life. This time, it's about getting in to the classes you not only need, but the classes you WANT. College is supposed to include fun. (Even if I am currently boiling my brain and completely emptying my wallet... and this is just for applying to the graduate program! Sigh.)

Plan ahead - Know ahead of time what classes you need for your major, and when they are offered. There's nothing worse than thinking you're in your last year of school and then finding out a class you need won't be offered that year.

Register as soon as registration opens - The earlier you sign up for a class, the more likely you are to get in. Obviously.

Go overboard - Register for as many classes as you can, spend the first week checking them all out, and then drop your least favorite so you carry a manageable load. Besides getting into all the classes you want, you have a better idea regarding some classes and professors for the future.

Go anyway - Every time I attempted to get into a creative writing class, they were all filled up. I would go anyway, with the paper in hand for the teacher to sign and let me into class. Unfortunately, creative writing was so popular that several other students did this as well, and I never made it into the class. I probably could have gotten in if I'd tried harder, or if I were an English Major.

Substitute - Sometimes, a you can find equivalent classes at different institutions. In fact, you may be able to find cheaper classes through community colleges nearby, or web courses that will sub. Make sure you check with your current place that they are transferable, though. Erik is currently taking several classes from Mt. Hood Community College, and one online course through Portland Community College, all to transfer to Oregon State.

Beg - Sometimes, you just need to ask. I currently have one prerequisite I need for my grad school application. I didn't learn about it until just before the term will start, so of course it was full. I couldn't find any acceptable alternatives at other schools. So, I emailed the teacher, explained my situation, and asked if she could make an exception for me. She said yes!

"Teacher shop" - There are ways to look at previous student reviews of teachers. However, I tend to take those with a grain of salt. Sometimes reviews that say "He's Mean" or "She's Hard" really mean the teacher will expect you to think... and those are my personal favorites. Having a math teacher that barely speaks English, on the other hand, may be a stumbling block for you. So, take reviews with a grain of salt, and if you speak with someone who has an opinion on a professor, ask them why.

"Class shop" - Don't get stuck taking only classes within your major. Read course descriptions for all sorts of classes and you could find some really fun things. I loved my "floor barre" class, even though I never did ballet.

Design your own - After taking the photography classes offered at my college, I told the professor I'd like to work on portraits. I ended up with a personally designed independent study course and had a great time. Percussion Composition was another class I invented and took before graduation.

Blog post of love

2008-09-21T19:15:00.001-07:00

I still wake up and look over at my husband in awe. I can't believe I got to marry such a wonderful person! I absolutely adore him. I'm so lucky.

Jess and Torsten, I wish you the best in your upcoming marriage. I hope in years to come, you wake up and look at each other in awe. How lucky are you?!

Jus' a little update

2008-09-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week!

After getting back from Idaho, we spent Monday recovering and cleaning up.
Tuesday we had to go to a WIC appointment, 'cause they couldn't fit Jasper in even after I waited for HOURS the previous Thursday.
Wednesday was a trip to Corvallis to meet with the grad program advisor at OSU. I liked her, and am excited to take care of the things I need to do to get into grad school.
The rest of the week has been spent getting my ducks in a row for grad school prep-stuff (finding a voice teacher, setting up classroom observations, getting into the class I need to take, etc. etc.), and getting things done before school starts for Erik next week.
This morning, we went to the farmers market and spent our $20 worth of coupons on 30 ears of corn for a big family lunch today, and a box of nectarines - which I'm assuming may disappear by the end of the get together today as well.

Haven, I'll get some garden updates happening soon... maybe... I think. At the very least I'll tell you I used some of our home grown cabbage for dinner last night. Just chopped it up, threw it in with polish sausage and soy sauce. Easy as can be!

A Soap Box Episode -

2008-09-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

in which I go off on a political rant (and will subsequently reap consequences, I'm sure):

I currently have a little bone to pick with the majority of pro-lifers out there. Here's what I think: If you're going to be pro-life, why don't you be Pro-Life! Here's what I mean:

Everyone I know (yes, even pro-choicers) believes that it is wrong to kill. Isn't that the heart of the abortion matter?

-So why do most anti-abortion folks I know also support our current state of WAR? We're sending off your young men to kill and/or be killed? Why are you out there supporting killing in our name? As Ghandi said, "What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?" Not to mention, "An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind" That's what I have to say about that. (I do need to add that I have deep respect for those who are willing to put their lives at risk in our defense. I have respect for those who wear the uniform with dignity.)

-Why do most anti-abortion folks I know also support the folks who CUT national health-care funding for the very lives they are so trying to save? What the point of forcing a life to happen when, once it's here, you won't support it's continued health and survival?

-Why do most anti-abortion folks I know believe that free health care for the mother of that unborn baby is a waste of our tax payer dollars (but funding wars in foreign lands, and subsidizing the wealthiest business owners out there is a fine use for our taxes).

-Why do most anti-abortion folks I know believe that the poor are poor by their own choice, without considering that a teenager mother with a deadbeat dad may not have the energy or resources to start up that wonderful corporation idea that could make her rich one day. She's too busy doing whatever she can to feed her kids, let alone worry about their education - especially when that's the same way she was raised. But, of course, it's all a choice, right?

So again, I say, if you're going to be pro-life, be Pro-LIFE!

Just because someone believes that a woman should have the right to decide does not mean they are pro-killing or pro-immorality. I would personally not choose abortion, even if I knew from prenatal tests it would be deformed. But I don't know that it's my place to force others to make the same choice. However, I believe they SHOULD be given more opportunity to LIVE a healthy life.

When weighing a presidential candidate (or any candidate for that matter), I believe simply dismissing a pro-choice candidate with the assumption that they are therefore immoral, or that they support immorality is unjust and short-sighted. Perhaps they believe in the doctrine, "teach them correct principals, and let them govern themselves." (That's where sex-ed comes in to play. If'n ya' don't realize the consequences, you could make some durn stoopid decisions.)

For the record, I will be voting for Obama. I do not believe he is the perfect choice. I know he is nowhere near as liberal as many right-wingers claim he is. I also know that he is nowhere near as liberal as many left-wingers believe he is. (I've looked into his voting record. VERY moderate if you ask my opinion.) I do believe, however, that he can inspire many in this country to work for a better country. I believe our nation could use more hope, more dignity, less fearmongering and doom and gloom. I find the mud-slinging and lie-smearing going on in the political arena sickening, and have found his take on things to be generally more upstanding. Sure many on the left are slinging anti McCain/Palin attacks, but Obama is sticking to the issues and asking folks to "lay off" when it comes to things like Palin's family situation. From my viewpoint, of the two, he is the more Pro-LIFE candidate.

I've heard the man speak, and I've been inspired.

For McCain's Voting Record, click here: http://www.votesmart.org/voting_category.php?can_id=53270

For Obama's, here: http://www.votesmart.org/voting_category.php?can_id=9490

Pressing Apples

2008-09-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

It was our third annual apple cider pressing at the TLC (Too Lazy to Care) Ranch. We brought a few apples in our trunk, my folks had some already picked, and more were picked (by Erik hanging in the tree shaking branches) while we were there.

This year, my sister Lindsey and her son trucked it over from Montana to join in the fun.

Our cute nephew kept trying to take a bath in the apple water... I'm surprised he didn't actually get a full bath in it!
We spent the morning churning apples, took a break for a potluck lunch with the local volunteer firefighters (my uncle is the chief), and then went back to work. I didn't do as much grunt work this year, as I spent more time on child-care duties. Having two does slow you down a bit more!

The press actually belongs to my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Dee. It's pretty cool, so I took a picture this year. To use it, you throw the apples in the top, where a motorized thing of nails churns them up. The bits fall down into a sack held up by a cylinder (that will really rip of your hands if you're not careful placing the sack just right). When full, you slide the thing down, close the top of the sack, and place a round cover over it. You then slide it down under the press, and turn the big nob (the hardest job, really, but fun). It squishes the yummy juice, which runs out the trough into the bucket. Apple bits get thrown near the salt lick for evening deer watching entertainment.

Inside, Mom went nuts pasturizing and canning. We helped a bit more in the evening after the pressing was done... and Mom was a bit fried herself. (Does anyone know how to get burned apple droppings off a stove top?!)
This year's total was 105 quarts. We split it three ways, 35 jars each. Delightful!

Happy Birthday to Me...

2008-09-10T12:44:00.000-07:00

It was one of those memories. The ones you're not entirely sure are real, or from a dream. Now I know. The song really exists:

My family had forgotten my birthday two years in a row. Although it was annoying, I was not devastated. However, the following year, this song came on the radio the morning of my birthday. It was the first time I'd heard it. The chorus sang out, "Happy, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. And to you." My morning routine was interrupted with a frantic search for the nearest cassette tape. I popped it in and hit record. That year, I was prepared.

At the end of the day, when no one had said anything about it being my birthday, I hit play, and cranked up my stereo. (I never played my radio loud, so this was a big deal.) My mother ran into my bedroom with a big, "I'm sorry!" and gave me a huge birthday hug. My father assured me he had remembered, he had mentioned it to his students at school. Just forgot to mention it to me! I was proud of my cleverness.

I've never heard the song since. I didn't know who wrote it, until today (thanks to Pandora). And it's my little bro-in-law's birthday! Happy Birthday S! (Just to clear confusion, it's not MY birthday today...)

The only way I could figure out how to share the song with you was through this YouTube video. Not very great quality, but if you want to have a listen. Here's one more for the collection, Mom!

Relative Lyrics:

I'm feeling thankful
for the small things, today
I'm feeling thankful
for the small things, today

Happy, Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
and to you

Wordless Wednesday: What We Did Last Weekend

2008-09-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

By the way - it's a 1935 Chevrolet, for anyone who's interested but wouldn't know just from looking. (I wouldn't have known...) Erik

Adventures in Parenting: Drool, School, and Where'd He Go?

2008-09-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

Peter is without a doubt teething. Consequently, he drools massive amounts that result in wet shirts and neck rashes after car rides.

N's first day of kindergarten was today. She let me curl her hair, which bobbed with excitement every step to school. Once there, she had no problem asking another girl, "Will you be my friend?" I don't think she'll have any problem making friends. But as her Dad said, she may have a problem with the teacher interrupting her. (Grins!)

Now, Jasper needs some daytime playmates. He's fine playing alone, but it's easier for me if he has someone else. I'm trying to be more aggressive about finding someone, and have offered invitations. No takers yet. Also, he's getting more adventurous, so it's not nearly as safe to let him play alone outside. In fact, I need to unlatch Peter and go check on Jazz right now...

How to Save Money on College Books

2008-09-08T14:35:00.000-07:00

I barely spent money on college books. In fact, during my first two years, I had a $100 stipend for books/term, and only used the whole amount my first (naive) term. Now that Erik and I are back in "starving students" mode, saving money on text books is on our mind. We took very different types of classes, and have different ways to save money on them. Here are some.
Social Ways:

I shared an Astronomy book with four others who lived in my dorm. It wasn't hard to find and use the book when you needed it, and often, we'd do the homework together anyway.
If you know ahead of time what classes you'll be taking, find people taking the class now. Offer to buy their books directly, giving them more money than the bookstore will offer for buy-back, but costing you less than the bookstore will resell them for. Win-win!

The Solo Way:

Don't buy any books, but spend time in your campus library, using the provided books. You usually can't check out text books and take them home, but can easily view and use them within the library.
Buy early, and used. If you don't mind worn out books, they are usually the least expensive for re-sale, but they leave the shelves pretty quickly.
Alternatively, don't buy any books until you actually need them. Some professors list a book just because they should, but never use it for class at all. Why waste your money?
Buy from Half.com or Amazon. You can usually find used books cheaper online than you can at your bookstore. If you're worried that a book won't show up on time, go ahead and buy the bookstore copy - but keep it in pristine condition and hold on to your receipt. When the online book gets to you, return the bookstore book for full price.
Use older versions. Chapters may be in different orders, or page numbers different, but typically the important content is the same.

Selling and Trading:

Find students who will be taking your class next term and sell your books directly to them.
Trade textbooks with students in your same major, who are taking classes on a different schedule than you are.
Sell your used books through Amazon or Half.com, rather than the bookstore. You will most certainly get a better deal.

The Political Way:

Convince your professors to use older versions of textbooks, and not update to the newest edition every time one comes out. Often, newer editions only offer problems in a different order, different illustrations, and/or an extra CD so they can continually profit from the same old content. Students seem to blame the book store for the ridiculous prices, but the fault often lies with the publishers... and unaware professors and students have let them get away with it.
Get involved, write to legislators and work to get something passed (like this one, which passed this year) to make text books more affordable for students.
Convince your professor to do away with the textbook entirely. Many would be willing to simply do class notes, or put together their own class packet. You may not be able to sell professor-made workbooks back when you're done, but they WON'T set you back $100+ per book.

She's waited years for this...

2008-09-04T20:55:00.000-07:00

Motherhood doesn't stop us from being who we are, doing what we want to do, retaining our individuality. Although... it does slow us down sometimes.

Congratulations, Lisa, on taking that leap and going for the chance to get back up on stage again. I'm sure it will pay off. Keep singing big, you contralto, you!

Baker's Update

2008-09-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

We now have a working dishwasher we got for free off Freecycle. Erik only had to buy a few parts to hook it up, but it's nice to not have a gaping hole in the cabinetry or dishes all over the counters either dirty or drying.

Baking uses lots of dishes. :) I'm now into the second week of meal planning/experimenting. I think it's going pretty well. I may not be cooking every meal on the particular day I planned, but I am sticking pretty close to meals that were planned for the week. I'm also doing a decent job at making enough to have leftovers for lunch the next day.

So far, I've learned that I don't need to try Sun-Bird brand Phad Thai seasoning again. Next time, I'll just look up a recipe from scratch. It just wasn't the right flavor for me. Also, even those who like pineapple on their pizza don't want the whole can on one pizza - even if I like it that way. So, I'll relax on the pineapple next round.

Although I've never liked tomatoes, I just had to try tomato pie tonight. (Great photos and direction at that link, by the way.) I'm not too sure about this crust I tried, though. The recipe just looked so SIMPLE. The pie is sitting next to me cooling as I speak, and smells VERY good. Could this be the secret to getting me to eat tomatoes?! We've only had three ripe tomatoes from our own garden so far, so this pie is from store bought ones, but the basil is from our own garden. (I had to dig through the tomatoes to find it... That patch is a little too closely planted.)

I also got the consistency right on the beans this time, I think. (Complete with onions from our garden!) I'm going to have to cook up another batch of that very soon. Here's the bean recipe the way I'm doing it these days:

(not refried) Beans
2.5 cups beans, soaked overnight and rinsed (helps with gas problems)
2 Tbs of "Better than Bullion"
4 or 5 small cloves of garlic, or less large ones
2 med/small dices onions (from the garden... oh yeah)
3 tsp chili powder
2 tsp oregano
as much water as you need to keep things from drying out... so, almost enough to cover everything

Cook on low in the crock until it's easy to smoosh (8 or so hours?). Then smoosh it in the blender, adding water if needed. When cooled, scoup whatever you're not using right away into containers and freeze for later.

Thanks, Lyric, for introducing me to this recipe.

We're having tomato pie and bean dip for dinner tonight. I layered sour cream, green onions, olives, cheese, and lettuce over the bean dip, and we'll just dip chips in. SO easy. I also bought some pre-made horchata to go with it. I'm going to have to learn how to make that stuff. I'm not quite as attached to it as Dalyn is to Yerba Maté, but I don't count any Mexican restaurant as authentic that doesn't carry the stuff. That and Mole. Bet you can't guess what I order when trying out a new restaurant, can you!

Wordless Wednesday: Five Cousins

2008-09-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

Five cousins, all boys, born within a year of each other. This is their first get together.

Photo Organization with Picasa and Flickr

2008-09-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

(This post is especially for you, Shari.) Not unlike most people these days who own a digital camera, I find myself with load of pictures. Several photo albums and computer files can fill up rather quickly. Another bonus to having digital photographs is that if you ever need to grab and run your precious memories in a fire or other desperate situation, you may have a backup of your pictures even if everything gets destroyed.

So how do you organize your photos?

Here's what we do:

Step 1: Get 'em off the camera
Periodically get the photos off the camera's memory card and onto the computer. We use Picasa for on-computer organizing and I select for Picasa to do the file transferring to me. I have a designated "NEW" folder where pictures are temporarily stored until future steps are taken.

Step 2: Purge
Delete the bad ones. We're not nearly as picky with deleting as we could/maybe-should be. I find if I do the deleting several months after the event, I'm less attached and able to delete more. But then I have to wait several months... and it might not get done. So, I do some deleting now - and more later when I'm going to burn a backup disk.

Step 3: Fix 'em and Tag 'em
On Picasa, I'll do any quick cropping, color fixing, or playing I need to do. I then add comments and tags. If there's a person in the photo, I'll tag with name, title, place of the photo, event, and anything else needed (i.e. David, Montgomery, Dad, Opa, Idaho, TLC, reunion, fish). I've found good tagging is very useful in trying to track down old photos. Now, I SAVE ALL CHANGES (Picasa makes a backup in case I save an oops). Saving changes now is important, 'cause if you don't save them before you upload to Flickr, then the original unsaved photo gets uploaded.

Step 4: Share/Back-up with Flickr
If you use Picasa Web Albums, there's a simple one step process. But I use Flickr, as that's what the rest of my family uses so we can watch our growing nieces and nephews who are spread across the country. I have an add-on installed that hooks up Flickr Uploadr with Picasa (called "picasa2flickr"). I'll select a group of photos, say all the ones of Jasper in Newport, and upload those as a batch. I make sure to select which set I want them added to, so these pics would be both "Newport" and "Jasper, age 2." As long as I remembered to save all my changes, Flickr will keep automatically use all the tags and comments I added on Picasa. I'll also choose my privacy setting on photos. I'm not as private as I should be, but at least naked baby bums and ugly pictures of me are set to friends and family only. Now folks can check out our photos, and download and print any they want. No more guessing what they'd like, printing and mailing them myself. Yeah!

Step 5: Give 'em a Home
Now, I go back to Picasa and move the pictures out of the "NEW" folder and into a more permanent home. I organize both by subject of the picture and by date. So, Jasper pictures will ultimately be in the Jasper folder, and then have sub-folders organized by date.

Step 6: Order Prints
When I get a great deal on prints through Snapfish or Shutterfly, or if a picture frame is crying for an update, I'll select the very best pictures and order prints. Or, after a special event, or for a special occasion I will make a photo book. (I love that photo books look more professional, and are much slimmer than those big expensive ring bound photo albums.) I always shop around online for the best deal before creating a photo book, and have had great luck with quality books with flexible layouts with Tabblo and Blurb.

Step 7: Backup Offline
I don't like to keep my computer too bogged down with too many pictures. So, periodically we'll back up our photos onto a DVD (usually when the camera memory card gets full). Picasa makes this super easy with one push of a button, and even marks photos as already backed up to help you keep from duplicating things. Once they've been burned to a DVD, we delete the photos from the photo memory card and the hard drive. If I need to find an old picture, I can pull out a labeled back-up DVD, or search by tag or date on Flickr.

Bonus Step: More sharing
Occasionally I also throw a photo up on Facebook... if there's something really worth sharing, or if an old buddy is asking for pics from college. Although Flickr is my favorite for solely pictures (and now videos, yeah!), I'm loving Facebook for keeping up to date with folks, and reconnecting with old friends.

So, what are your best photo organizing tips?

The Artist vs. The Engineer

2008-08-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

Me: (Putting a stack of magnets* on the new fridge.) Look honey, fine art!
Erik: Ha! That's not art.
Me: Is too. Just look at it. Appreciate.
Erik: Nope. Still not art.
Me: But you must admit it's fun to look at.
Erik: (Placing his own stack of magnets.) Now this is fun.
Me: Just because you let someone else do the imagining for you...

*The dot and line magnets were used as notes and staff lines when I did music camp for the kids last summer. It's fun to race up to magnetic staff paper and be the first one to find middle F or bass G.

Cooking!

2008-08-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

So I've never really done meal planning before. This is my first time with a family and a kitchen and not working until 10pm or at the end of a pregnancy and wanting nothing to do with any kitchen... so I'm enjoying playing family shopper and chef.

Just in time, Erin (who makes awesome superhero capes) steered me toward simple mom. I'm trying out her advice on how to plan a menu... but as I'm only three meals into it, I can't let you know how it's going so far. Ask me in a few weeks, will you? In any case, I enjoyed grocery shopping to fill up our new kitchen (which is still pretty empty food-wise) and the meals have been great so far. Erik has given the perfect husband compliments of "Oh that smells so good," and "That was really good dinner!" (Jasper, on the other hand, has had a lot in common with the protagonist in Green Eggs and Ham.)

I also thought about trying out simple mom's advice for setting up a personal online cookbook... but unless I'm baking certain dishes, I'm not really a recipe follower. I'm more of a "Oooo, let's try putting some of that in it" kind of cook. The first time I tried sharing one of my standard recipes with someone, theirs didn't turn out anywhere near like mine. I guess a recipe should be more precise than "some mango, red onion, lime, lemon juice, cilantro, and maybe some peaches or something. Oh, and salt of course." (That was mango salsa... the first salsa I ever liked.)

Wanna see our meals for the week so far?

Monday: Pasta Alfredo with steamed broccoli (fresh from the garden)
Tuesday: Black bean burritos was the plan. I ended up with calzone-like creations with Tumaro's Sun-Dried Tomato flavored tortillas as a crust. (So yummy they make me drool... I eat them plain. Ok, so I eat regular tortillas plain too. I don't deny it.) Inside were black beans, rice, onions, green bell peppers, sour cream with all sorts of herbs mixed in, and some mozerella.
Wednesday: Stir Fry. Green and yellow beans, carrots, onions, peppers, garlic, and plenty of herbs, spices and soy sauce in butter and almond oil (vs. olive oil, for high heat cooking... although I'm going to have to recheck my sources about this, 'cause online it's saying high heat with olive oil is ok) over brown rice.
Tonight, if I get the place cleaned up enough we'll have a sleepover with the kids and have chocolate fondue and popcorn.
Friday: I'm hoping to make home-made pizza a Friday night staple.
Saturdays: I have no plan. Wing-it day.
Sundays: I'm hoping to have "family meals" with the in-laws, coordinating with my MIL.

I'm slowly learning how much to make to feed us, plus have a little left over for lunch the next day. Yes, only three days of cooking and I'm learning already!

I will update more to let you know how it's going!

P.S. Jasper is a big fan of his new dishes. I now understand the existence of parents who buy their kids whatever they want. However, I do have my limits... at around the $1 level. Thank you Target dollar bins!

Wordless Wednesday: My Happy Boys

2008-08-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

Automatic Flush Toilets

2008-08-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

We often say, "Jasper doesn't miss much." For example, this two-and-a-half year old boy can spot an auto flush toilet the instant the stall opens. He refuses to use them.

It started one day when I hadn't noticed the auto flusher. I sat Jazz down to do his business and, well, you know those auto sensors weren't designed for toddler bodies. Now add the fact that these were excited toilets... shooting water all over when they flushed. Jasper did not appreciate the sudden swimming pool behavior.

Last weekend Jasper opted to wet his pants, his back up pants, and do whatever he had to do NOT to sit on the auto-flushers. Even after he was shown that they could be covered up to keep from flushing. Even after successfully demonstrating for him a safe, non-flushing experience. He won't do it.

How can we overcome the auto-flusher fear?

*Creative Commons Use photo by Cayusa on Flickr.

Expert Movers

2008-08-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

So I went down to Corvallis the other day to talk to the professors there and meet with the head adviser of the engineering section. After talking to Neil on the weekend and deciding that I had to go for Electrical Engineering I called around on Monday and found out when professors and advisers would be available to meet with me. Because of a research project that involved going to Newport and launching a bouy to harness wave energy they were only available the next day or I would have to wait until Sept. 8 which I didn't want to wait for.

The professors are pretty impressive. Dr. Annette von Jouanne loves pretty much all things water, is a private pilot, as well as a competitive swimmer. Dr. Ted Brekken has worked in Norway on wind generators and in Korea on hybrid electric vehicles. Both of them sound right up my alley and are very interested in renewables. I enjoyed listening to them talk about the projects that they are working on as well as the ones that they have possibly coming up.

Then I went and talked to the adviser to find out what possibilities I would have with my schedule and if I should try to go down to OSU yet this fall, which would be pretty rushed and hard, but if really necessary we would do it. I found out that I can stay up here and get a bunch of classes knocked out this year, and then move down to Corvallis right after Spring term. I will have a few classes to take at both Linn Benton Community College, which is not too far from there as well as one at OSU in the summer. Then from there I'll be full time at OSU fall 2009 and winter 2010. I'll be in the MECOP program, which stands for Multiple Engineering Co-Operative Program. So that means that if I make it into the program I'd then have an internship during spring 2010 and summer 2010 terms. Most of the internships are somewhere in the greater Portland area, but there are a couple down there as well as a couple in the Seattle area and one in Boise. But basically we're about guaranteed to need to move for the duration of the internship. Then fall 2010, winter 2011, and spring 2011 I will be back at OSU for more full time classes. Then there's another six month internship at a different company during summer and fall 2011. After that I will most likely have one or two classes to finish up in winter 2012 and I'd be done with a B.S. in Electrical and Computer Engineering with an emphasis in power electronics. So if you add up all of the times that we have to move you'll come up with six times in the next four years. The longest that we're going to stay anywhere is nine months. You think we'll be ready to settle down at the end of that?? I sure do!!

How to Purge Your Bookshelf

2008-08-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

The hard truth is, books are a pain. Ignore fond memories of growing up in a home where multiple walls were completely covered in books. C'mon. You can do it.

I would love to have walls of bookshelves, and raise literate children who love to read. The problem is, we're too mobile. We know we're going to be moving often in the next several years, and we won't be buying our own home for a while yet. Now is NOT the time to hold fast to our book collection. Plus, as long as we're reading with our kids, I don't think we have to worry about the literacy thing.

So, we're cleaning off the shelves and lightening our load. You can too! Here's how we do it, and maybe this will help you if you have a book addiction too.

Step 1: Realize there are alternatives.
When you want to make something for dinner, and you know you have a bag of frozen chicken to use up, do you page through your cookbooks, or do you get online? What about that web page design question you have? Read an outdated CSS book, or an online forum? For your non-fiction resources 9.5/10 times you're likely looking online. If this is not the case you need to become better friends with Google.

And for the fiction? Library, Library, Library! Actually, for any book we see that may be interesting, we'll hop online and reserve it at our local library. If the library doesn't have it, we can still borrow it through inter-library loan. Become a library person. You really don't need the books in your home, taking up space!

Step 2: Weeding
Just like looking at the veggie patch and pulling out any growing thing that shouldn't be there - inspect your bookshelf and yank out anything that doesn't get opened at least monthly. Well, it would be great if I was that ruthless, but I'm not. I still can't let go of my philosophy and collection of holy texts and mythologies of world cultures. Perhaps once I've finally read all of them I'll be able to let them go... BUT - I do have a hefty stack of books on the floor that are ready to go away!

Step 3: Are they worth something?
You could take the pile to your local book resale shop and find out what they'll take, or you could do what we do and sell direct. Amazon is our friend. Here's a tutorial within a tutorial for how to sell a book on Amazon. Don't worry, it's easier than these detailed directions make it look.

The first thing you need to do is find out if the book is worth the time and effort to sale. This is when we hop on Amazon, enter the book's ISBN number and see what comes up. Let's use an example. I have here, "The Te of Piglet" by Benjamin Hoff. I simply type in 0525934960 (ISBN found on the back of the book above the bar code) in the search field and hit the "go" button.

Most books will have two prices listed. Amazon's price is big, at the top. For "Te of Piglet" it looks like this:

List Price:	$19.95
Price:	$13.57 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25.

Below are prices offered by independent sellers. For this book:

› 335 used & new available from $0.01

This is obviously a give-away book. Because Amazon takes a commission off the top, we like the lowest listed price to be around $4 or $5 to make it worth our time. "Te of Piglet" now goes in the give away pile. Also, because Amazon-direct books can qualify for free shipping, we like to be able to offer books at least $4 less than the Amazon price, or else folks will simply go for the free shipping and save the $4.

Let's try another book: ISBN 0962782106, Accompanying Skills for Pianists. It looks like Amazon does not directly sell this book, and due to the high price (› 5 used & new available from $64.00), it could be out of print. (Yet it probably still has college professors requiring it, like I did, so it's still in demand. We never even used it in class! Grrrr...) This one is certainly worth trying to sell.

Step 4: List it for sell!
(Step sub-4: Before you can sell on Amazon, you need to have an account there. Sign up for one if you don't have one already.)

After looking up your book, look to the right side of the page. You'll find a button that says "Sell yours here." A new page opens where you'll select the condition of the book (be honest!!!) and comment on it's condition. I could put Used-Like New, but I'm going to opt for the one lower just to be safe, as it has some scuffs on the cover. I don't want to mail someone a book and have them upset that the condition is not what they expected. Then, I'll fill out the comment field below. I try to list everything wrong with it, and positives as well. For this book, I wrote "Some shelf wear, a little bit of sticker residue on cover, inside pristine except a bent title page. "

Click "Continue."

On the next page, you name your price. On the right you'll see the list price, as well as the lowest listed price from a seller. Set your price below the lowest seller's price. So, if the lowest price was $64, I'd name a price between $60-$63.

Leave the next field (quantity on hand) at 1, unless of course you have more than one book to sell. We like to keep shipping at the standard price as well.

Click "Continue" again.

Step 5: Sell your book
Amazon will now send you an email verifying your listing, and will do the rest for you. They'll send you an email when someone buys your book. You mail it to them, and Amazon deposits the money in your PayPal account. Easy-Peasy.

Step 6: The Give-Away Pile
The easiest option for us is to take this pile to the Library and donate it. However, there are other options, and the library won't take just any book.

If you're the adventure seeking type, try Bookcrossing. You can list your books to see if anyone asks for them specifically, or set them out "into the wild" for someone to find. I've tried both and enjoyed the experience.

If you aren't in the mood to carry a pile of books anywhere, you can set them outside in a box labeled "Free," or if there's an active Freecycle list in your area, post an offer for Free Books. This way, people come to you to get the books. Couldn't be easier.

Finally, there's the donation centers like Goodwill or Salvation Army. Just hand them the box of books and walk away. Done.

Step 7: Resist!
Do NOT buy more books to fill up the space you now have. Instead, borrow from the library or friends, and return them (in perfect condition) when you are finished.

*So, after writing this up, we decided to list most of our books on Half.com instead. They take a lower commission, and your listing doesn't expire. Better deal. However, since I already used Amazon for the tutorial, I'm not going to rewrite the whole thing.

So, what do you think? How do you go about getting rid of your books?

*Creative Commons Use Photo by "jek in the box" on Flickr, used under .

My Personalized Magazine

2008-08-24T13:08:00.001-07:00

I tried a magazine subscription. Once. In college, a roommate subscribed to Real Simple, and I enjoyed reading it. So one year, I asked for it for Christmas. But now, I had more stuff taking up space in the mailbox, and bookshelf. I had to flip through pages and pages of ads to get to any articles. (To help, my first time through I would rip out every page that had ads on both sides. That would lead to easier page turning... and stacks of paper to recycle.) Then, add the environmental impact and I'm thinking - whoa. Magazines just aren't my style.

Enter the world of blogs. Blogs are fantastic. They're not just for us prolific public journaling types any more. They are my own personal magazine. With Bloglines as my feed reader (there are other great ones too), I set up categories where I only check on blogs that actually have an update. If an article looks interesting, or I want to comment, I just click on over to the source and have my say. So much simpler than finding the required format and mailing a response to a magazine article, yes?

Today, I want to share a few of my favorites. I've probably already done so, but now I have incentive from "Simple Mom" to tell you about her giveaway, so it seemed like a good time for sharing.

So, here you have, Highlights from my Feed Reader!

Family:
"Pages From My Notebook" is where my brother shares his sketches and notes on interesting historical and contemporary people. Just because he's my brother doesn't mean this stuff is just fluff. His note-taking style has been legendary since my high school AP History class. If you've met my brother, you know how awe-inspiring he is. And I'm not just talking his size. (I was proud to be his little sister in history class when his name was brought up. He was also infamous for blowing up our Chemistry teacher... but that's another story.)

Also, his blog is the only place I know of where real race dialogues are happening. Not some organized panel discussion. Not some news group or survey saying "blacks say this and whites say this." Dalyn lives in a bi-racial marraige, and writes essays on racial topics as he sees them. Very good stuff.

Also, I want to give a shout out to my cousin Tim over at Loman. He's taking the plunge and trying out full time writerhood. Please give him your support.

Friends:
I read lots of these, and most of journalistic, like we are here at Living Yellow. However, there are a few that do a little more. Evrim Icoz Photography is amazing. 'Nough said.

Cryptic Language and Vague References is an "anonymous" blog (though I do know the author) where an active Mormon is trying to sort out his own homosexuality. I was raised LDS, and although I no longer practice or share some of the same beliefs (including their stance on homosexuality), I have much respect for those I know who practice it as well as the community spirit the church fosters.

Parenthood:
I've been a fan of and contributor to Parent Hacks from the beginning.
The Artful Parent makes me drool. I want a play group like that... and eventually probably will.
Along the same lines, Kidmade is too fun.
And thanks to Erin (who is categorized under friends 'cause we hung out a few times in early high school years) I just discovered Simple Mom. I love the looks of this blog, and want to pass along word of her contest, where she's giving away ~$200 worth of prizes to one lucky winner. And it's good stuff, too. Plus, her little logo is perfect:

Tips & News:
Gimundo reports GOOD news. I like that. And, Zen Habits always has some great insight.

Money:
I like to follow Wise Bread and Get Rich Slowly.

Farm and Garden:
I enjoy Gardenaut and the Tiny Farm Blog.

Dance:
I try to keep up to date with the dance blogs, for the day I start working on The Dance Primer seriously again. (That will likely wait until I'm actually dancing regularly again. Or at least teaching.) I enjoy Swan Lake Samba Girl, and Dance Advantage posts worthwhile reading as well.

And there you have it. What categories does your personal magazine include? What are your favorite blogs? Please share as I'd love to check them out!

The Hard Stuff

2008-08-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

So we were out camping this past weekend. (Ok, so it wasn't much like camping, but that's what we were attempting to do, anyway.) Some friends of ours were there, and we even ran into quite a few family who were also there because of a family reunion/picnic that was happening during the day on Saturday. A couple of those friends of ours are engineers - electrical engineers. I decided to chat with both of them, and it turned out that I did get to talk to each of them individually. Brock was saying that maybe I should take both mechanical and electrical classes so that I would be able to cross disciplines some and be more valuable as well as being able to have more things I could do which could keep it interesting. I thought that was sound advice, and he's got enough experience to know what he's talking about - he's been retired now for six months or so.

My good friend Neil is also an electrical engineer, but he specializes more in power electronics, which is motor controls - variable speed drives, and related things. As I talked to him I realized that it was a VERY good fit for me. They are the ones who would make the controllers for the electric cars, or in a wind turbine, or for pretty much any other motor or generator. The applications are extremely varied. But there was one caveat - this is the hard stuff. In comparison to that building the machine around it is fairly straightforward. Neil was comparing it to rocket science. He didn't want me to get into it without my eyes open about how hard it would be.

The bonus is that some days he is sitting at his computer doing pure theory and that other days he's crawling around under some machine getting greasy. Between my mechanical background and appreciating a challenge I'm really looking forward to it. With my mechanical skills and put an in depth understanding of electronics on top of that (when I graduate) and I'll have a very good skill set. And I'll get to work on the hard parts of renewable energy, or maybe just making a regular motor run more efficiently, but I'll be able to feel pretty good about my job, I think.

So I'm excited about it!! - but I have a LOT of work ahead of me...

Making a Decision

2008-08-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

So, you may know that our family, meaning the nuclear four of us, leans pretty heavily toward the crunchy side of things. Our preferences include growing our own food organically, gratefully accepting hand-me-down clothing, living simply, contributing to causes we care about, loving the outdoors, etc.

Throw parenting decisions in and things can get tricky. Yes, we chose to have natural childbirths outside hospitals with excellent midwives. But then there's the tricky choice about vaccines.

If you choose to vaccinate, public schools, and the government database that tracks your vaccination practices, and your doctor, and the drug companies are all very happy with you. Not to mention those parents who believe you're risking their kids health if you don't vaccinate yours.

But then there's the risks of inoculating your infant with so much stuff so early in their life, the possibilities of weakening their immune system by not letting it develop naturally by fighting off real bugs on its own, possibilities of side effects and allergies, and the big scare of having a child these days: autism.

When Jasper was little, we read every book and website we could find on the matter. We talked to our doctor. We talked to other parents. Jasper didn't start the routine at two months due to his health issues at that time.

The biggest problem is that every source - even the graphs and charts and data we looked at - seemed pretty biased in one way or another. We only know so much, and can only do so much. It's a decision about who you're going to trust.

In the end, we chose to trust our doctor. His catching Jasper's pyloric stenosis early basically saved our son's life. He's been great every time we see him. We really like his wife/office manager. And then, we found his blog. The guy is really shy in person, but after reading his thoughts on things, we are even bigger fans of our doctor. Plus, he's famous. His picture was right there on the front of the newspaper. Of course, the article only had one sentence about him (which included his age) but still, he had his two minutes of glory.

For the curious, we did vaccinate our boys, but not with everything available. We did not vaccinate against chicken pox, and something else, I don't remember what. Jasper just did get a shot we originally passed on just in case we choose to travel abroad in the near future. (There still was/is a chance we'd go teach English somewhere...)

Camping, anyone?

2008-08-17T22:18:00.001-07:00

How do you define camping? 'Cause I signed up and paid for camping this weekend at Barton Park. Turns out it was barely a drive to get there at all. Then, our camp spot felt like it was in the middle of a parking lot. Above all, a huge crude LOUD party lasted almost all night. Both nights.

Our yard would certainly have been closer to camping.

I asked the camp host on the way out if the place had quiet hours. She said it did, from 10p.m. to 6a.m. I asked why they weren't enforced. She explained that as a host, she has no authority to do anything except ask them to be quiet. I knew they were asked to be quiet by other campers (who were subsequently threatened by the drunk party folk). The head ranger came through - and it didn't stop. The sheriff came through, yet they partied on [Wayne]. Why were they not kicked out?! Why, exactly, did we pay $19 a night? I thought it was for camping.

The host gave me the phone number of the head ranger and mentioned that if enough people complain, perhaps the system will get fixed so that she will have authority to do something. However, the station was closed for the weekend.

What do you think I should do? Call and just complain? Ask for my money back?

On the bright side, we didn't put on the rain fly and I got to watch an awesome lightning storm while the rest of my family slept. (Did you catch the pun? I didn't at first... "Bad Dad Joke," Dad?) We'll still need to go out again for me to get a real camping fix this season.

Ramblings that Only Apply to One of Nine Commenters

2008-08-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

So, now it's time to pick a winner and figure out a gift to send to a pif winner. You should know this is coming LIVE to you from the Living Yellow Blog. (Are you reading in real time?) It's tempting to read through and pick my favorite comment, or browse through others' blogs and find the one I like best. Well, I did browse a little bit and found this hilarious post about Facebook. But, she didn't even enter the contest, so she can't win. Maybe I'll have to send her a prize anyway...

Really, I said I'd pick a random winner, so I'll pick a random winner. 9 comments. Two said they don't really want a prize, though. How DO you pick a random winner? Google! (Really, when DON'T we Google?) I typed in "random number between one and seven" and the only results were all mathematical essays or nothing promising. (Don't you love how Google will answer your math problems or spelling questions for you? No magic number generating, though.)

Try. Again. Googling "random number generator." (Smart, huh!) Too bad it's not 1-6. I could just roll a die. (Dye? Correct singular for dice? Google time again. Die it is. Now I feel smart. Woohoo!)

These results look promising... RANDOM.ORG - True Random Number Service"

Promise fulfilled! AND WE HAVE A WINNER! The number is.... 4.

Now, it's time for me to go check the comments and find out who number 4 is.

Ya ya's mom... at first glance, you seem like a very paying it forward contest kind of woman. You sure you want another win? Well, you did enter. I'm sure you do. Here you go. Prepare yourself for surprise prizey goodness.

Thanks for sharing your stranger helpfulness stories. And, if you happen to be reading now (really? You're still reading this?) I invite you to share your/another story of a stranger doing something nice for you. It will make you feel good.

I'll start.

A little over a year ago, a woman at a gas station decided to help fuel our road trip. Wow.

Quickie

2008-08-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

Today, I've spent the free moments Peter has allowed me cleaning. And I'm happy about it.

Tomorrow both my little boys get shots. Poor guys. And then we're going camping! Two weekends in a row. Wahoo! (Probably bad timing, though.)

Don't forget to enter my pif contest. And remember, I'm not a corporation, family is welcome to enter!

Things are good

2008-08-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

I can't say enough how nice it is to have hormones (including thyroid) in balance. Enjoying life is SO much easier. Also, I need to remember not to write blog posts when I'm hormonal and upset. Taking time to step away is a good idea.

And, this is a good article, so I wanted to share it. It's really helped brightened my perspective on a lot of things. I can control my intentions...

Getting Jasper to Help Put Away Laundry

2008-08-12T10:22:00.001-07:00

I felt like a ParentHacking pro yesterday...

It was hard to get things done when every time I put a sleeping Peter down, Jasper would go play with him and wake him up. Then, Peter would want to nurse and I'd be stuck doing nothing. So, while I lay feeding the baby, the pile of clean laundry was across the room.

Then I struck gold! "Hey Jasper, why don't you go find something in that pile and guess who wears it." It worked great. Jasper ran to the pile, grabbed something, and brought it to me. I could feed the baby and fold laundry at the same time. By the time Peter was done and sleeping once again, I had several articles ready to be put away.

A Whale of a Time

2008-08-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

It was 8:00 a.m. and Erik said, "Ya know. I really think we should go to Newport." By Noon we were in the car, although we had to do a bit of shopping before we were really off.

I'm a relative newbie to Oregon, so I haven't been to the coast that often, and I had never seen the coast on a sunny day. I wanted to run in the sand with my son, run from incoming water, and find the neatest shells.

The first time we went out to the beach, it wasn't sunny. And, Jazz got really nervous about me going near the water. He didn't want to come anywhere near it.

BUT - Erik noticed a whale! We stood on the beach and watched several whales shoot plumes and show off their tales for a good half hour. I was ecstatic. I said that was better than seeing it on a sunny day.

The next day was sunny. We got to the beach and took our shoes off. Only, Jasper was very unhappy with the idea. He wouldn't move, and threw a fit in the style that only a two year old can, upset that his feet were dirty. No matter what we tried we couldn't get him to get anywhere near enjoying the experience even a little bit. So we gave up and headed back. Seeing the whales was certainly better than this sunny day experience.

On our way home (via a Eugene wedding) we saw yet another whale. This one was much smaller, but even closer than the others. And we got video! Well well wale. Don't wail. All's well. Somebody stop me!